Sruta-kirti das Remembers Srila Prabhupada: Difference between revisions

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[[Category:Living Devotees Remembering Srila Prabhupada]]
[[Category:Living Devotees Remembering Srila Prabhupada]]


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==Prabhupada Memories==
===Interview 01===
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Srutakirti: As his servant, I tried to avoid politics. I was only nineteen or twenty years old, and I didn’t understand much, so I stayed clear of it. I think I was saved from a lot, and I was always able to appreciate Srila Prabhupada through my personal service to him. Today’s very special; it’s Father’s Day, and Srila Prabhupada was very much my father.   
As his servant, I tried to avoid politics. I was only nineteen or twenty years old, and I didn’t understand much, so I stayed clear of it. I think I was saved from a lot, and I was always able to appreciate Srila Prabhupada through my personal service to him. Today’s very special; it’s Father’s Day, and Srila Prabhupada was very much my father.   


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'''To view the entire unedited video go to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uT34mIkdnu8 Memories 15 - The 1996 NYC and LA Reunions]'''
'''To view the entire unedited video go to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uT34mIkdnu8 Memories 15 - The 1996 NYC and LA Reunions]'''
===Interview 02===
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'''Srutakirti:''' At the end of 1972 and the beginning of 1973, Prabhupada stayed about  five weeks in Bombay. At that time the devotees here, the sannyasis, Gargamuni, Tamal-  Krsna Maharaj, and so many were busy making life members. This is how money was  coming in at that time, the life membership program. It was one thousand, one hundred  and eleven rupees and you would become a life member and by doing that you would get  all of Prabhupada’s books, all of Prabhupada’s future books and you could get to stay in  any temple in the world. It was a very good deal. The only thing was we weren’t giving  them anything. We were taking the money but they weren’t getting the books, and  letters were coming in from some of these Indian life members, complaining to  Prabhupada, “Your disciples they’ve come and promised us so many things. Now they  are not giving us the books. The books aren’t there.” They wanted the books.  Prabhupada called a meeting at Mahadevya’s flat and he brought in his disciples. He  said, “What’s going on?” He said, “There are all these life members who are complaining  that they are not getting anything. You’re taking their money and you’re not providing  them with the books. He said, “There’s no book keeping. Do you have records of what’s  going on?” He said, “This is very important. If we can’t get this together here, we may as  well pack our bags and leave India.” I had a big smile on my face as I thought  Prabhupada was going to pack up and leave India. Prabhupada sometimes would be  very dramatic. He would make his point by saying these very startling things. I was new  with Prabhupada having been with him for only a few months and I thought it would be  great to leave India as I already had malaria and jaundice. We’ll just go back to America  where everything is nice and clean and organized. But he was trying to impress upon his  disciples how serious it was by saying, “We must take care of things here.”     
I always had a nice situation as it was one of the perks of being with Srila  Prabhupada. Prabhupada would say a servant of the king lives just like the king. So I  was always taken care of very nicely while I was with Srila Prabhupada. But sometimes  I’d take advantage of the situation along with others in Prabhupada’s entourage and we  were always getting into trouble.  I remember in Juhu in 1974, we all started going to the beach. We would sit on the  beach and go swimming before lunch. Within a few days everyone dropped out but I  continued to go to the beach everyday. I came back one day and Paramahamsa came up  to me and said, “Prabhupada wants to see you and he’s really mad.” He said, “He heard  you’re going to the beach all by yourself and he’s upset.” I was very nervous. Prabhupada  was honoring prasadam but I waited for him to finish lunch and then I went into his  room. I offered obeisances, looked up and asked, “Prabhupada did you want to see me?”  He looked at me and said, “No.” I said, “Paramahamsa said that you wanted to see me?”  He said, “No.” I said, “Maharaj said that you were angry with me because I’m going to  the beach.” He said, “Oh, you are going to the beach?” I said, “Yes, Prabhupada.” He  said, “Are you going alone?” I said, “Yes, Prabhupada.” He said, “Oh, you’re having a  good time?” I said, “Yes Prabhupada, it is nice to go in the water.” He said, “Yes, the  beach is very nice here.” He said, “This beach is very good. You should go. It’s okay, you  go.” I said, “Okay, Prabhupada.” I never went to the beach again after that day. As I said,  with me he took a different approach. Prabhupada yelled at me on a few occasions but  he could see that I just became totally devastated. So this was his approach now; to say  everything was okay and allow me to do the right thing already knowing that he didn’t  want me to do it.     
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'''To view the entire unedited video go to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDjDWYSSSu4 Memories 49 - Jayapat S, Sruto, Gargamuni, Gurukrpa, Narayani, RupaV, Hari, Ranjit, Nrsimhanda]'''
===Interview 03===
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'''Srutakirti:''' We were always anxious to get some mercy from Prabhupada in the  form of his belongings. The first opportunity I had to do this was after my  brahman thread disappeared. I had gotten brahman initiation in Los Angeles in  1972, and one month later my original brahman thread—the one that  Prabhupada had chanted on—was gone. I was very attached to this thread and  totally devastated that my link was gone. I thought, “This is definitely a bad  omen.” Of course, then we didn’t have brahman threads from India. We just got  six strings and tied them in a knot, and that was a brahman thread. So that’s what  I did to continue chanting my gayatri, but I was never content. Later, when I had  become Prabhupada’s servant, for some reason there was no question of asking  him, “Would you chant on a thread for me?” But I devised a plan. After being  with him for a month he told me that on each Ekadasi he would change his  brahman thread, and at that time I could give him a new one. I thought, “Well  now I will get Prabhupada’s old brahman thread.” Prabhupada was bathing, so I  set up his table with his tilak, mirror, and a new brahman thread, as that day was  Ekadasi. At this time Prabhupada was staying in the downstairs room at the  Radha- Damodar Temple. I was on the veranda outside, just sitting, watching,  and waiting. I was happy that I was going to get Prabhupada’s brahman thread.  Prabhupada put his tilak on and placed the second thread around his body and  began chanting gayatri. By this time I was busy in the kitchen helping Yamuna  get his lunch together. Prabhupada finished his gayatri and walked into the  kitchen to take prasadam. I raced into his room to find that he had broken all six  strands of his brahman thread. “Why did he do this?” I thought, “Because I  wanted his thread?” I was very stubborn, so I tied each strand in a little knot, all  six of them. I thought, “Now I have my brahman thread. Despite everything I still  have it. Prabhupada has chanted on it so many times. So it is better than my  original brahman thread.” I took the brahman thread and put it in my pocket and  went to Prabhupada while he was taking prasadam. He said, “So, that brahman  thread that I have left on the table.” I said, “Yes, Srila Prabhupada.” He said, “You  should take that brahman thread and dig under tulasi devi and bury it. I thought,  “No. This is impossible. Is this what they do, or is he just doing this to me?” I  said, “OK, Srila Prabhupada.” Of course, I didn’t obey that order because I was so  determined. That was one order that Srila Prabhupada gave me that I just  reneged on, because I thought that I have to have this brahman thread. That was  the beginning of many opportunities I had to get maha-prasadam from Srila  Prabhupada.     
I went to New York when I got initiated, and, since I was with  Kirtanananda as his servant, I would sit near Srila Prabhupada’s vyasasana. The  New York temple room wasn’t very big and was very crowded because devotees  from all over—Columbus, Pittsburgh, New Vrindavan, and other places—had  come to New York to see Srila Prabhupada. Once, during kirtan in the temple  room, devotees were crunched together. After we bowed down to pay our  obeisances, a devotee behind me, whose head was right at my feet, got up at the  same time I did. This devotee pushed me forward so that I fell across  Prabhupada’s vyasasana and literally onto him. He looked over and said, “What is  the difficulty?” Just like a mouse, I said, “It’s nothing, Srila Prabhupada” and  cowered back into my space. That was the first time I made my presence known  to Srila Prabhupada.     
Every afternoon we would have Krishna Book readings, and I,  fortunately, was the designated reader. Sometimes Prabhupada would make  comments during the readings, sometimes he would just sit very quietly, and  sometimes he would laugh. I would always try to find stories about demons  because Prabhupada would react to these stories more than others. He would  usually laugh when Krishna was killing the demons. One day while I was  searching for a story to read, he said, “Just read from anywhere. Krishna is like a  sweetball. Wherever you bite, it’s sweet.” Then I quickly went to the next page  and began reading.     
Kirtananada said, “I have trained him in cooking. He cooks very  nicely, but he doesn’t know how to massage yet.” Prabhupada said, “Anyone can  massage. It’s not very difficult.” Then Prabhupada said to me, “So, follow me.”  We went outside, and he said, “Take the lota.” I grabbed the lota. We walked  about twenty or thirty paces and he said, “Give me the lota.” I handed him the  lota, and he went off into the bushes to pass. After a few minutes he came back  and said, “Here. Now wash this.” I immediately became aware of my service. As  Prabhupada’s servant, I did every menial thing, no matter what. I took great  pleasure in this. I thought it was great. I was actually going to be taking care of  Prabhupada in whatever little need he had.     
As Prabhupada’s servant, massage was the best time for me, as I was  in close contact with him and doing nice service. It always made me feel very  good. During massage in the morning, Prabhupada’s secretary would come in,  and Prabhupada would hear his letters and answer them. While he was doing this  I was massaging him. I would start on his head and continuously massage his  head until he said, “Okay,” or gave a gesture with his body, and then I’d go to the  next spot. Sometimes, if he was immersed in something, I could massage part of  his body for a long time. Massage generally lasted about one hour. But sometimes  it would go to two hours or two and a half hours if he was absorbed in his  business. It was very nice, but it could also become a little bit tiring.  After being with him for some time, I started to feel that I knew what I was  doing quite well. I would massage his head, and when I felt that I had done it  sufficiently, I would move on to the next part of his body. I was doing this for  probably a week or so. Then one day I was massaging his head, and I went on to  massage his back. He didn’t say anything. Then I stopped massaging his back and  started to move around to the side when he said, “You massage until I tell you to  stop, not you tell you to stop.” From that time on, massage took a different turn—  again I would do whatever Srila Prabhupada wanted.     
In Bombay there were two kinds of cars: one looked like an old  Plymouth and the other was an Ambassador. Everyone either had a Plymouthlike  car or an Ambassador. Shyamasundar had driven Srila Prabhupada,  Pradyumna, and me in the Plymouth-like car to go for a morning walk. We  parked the car, got out, and had a nice walk. One and a half hours later we  returned to the car. Shyamasundar tried to start it for a few minutes and then  said, “The key is not working. The key is not working.” Prabhupada said, “What is  wrong?” Shyamasundar said, “I don’t know. I can’t get the key to work in the car.”  We were sitting there for about five minutes, and all of a sudden two Indian men  came up to the car and began talking to Srila Prabhupada in Hindi. Everything  was very friendly. Prabhupada said, “He said that this is not our car. This is their  car.” The men decided that they wanted to take Srila Prabhupada to his quarters.  They convinced him that they wanted to do this service because he was a swami.  They said, “Swamiji, we will take you to where you are going.” Srila Prabhupada  and I remained in the back seat, and the two gentlemen got into the front seat of  the car, while Shyamasundar and Pradyumna went to find the other car. Srila  Prabhupada said, “This is the difference between your country and India. In your  country, if we were sitting in someone’s car, immediately they would have had us  arrested. But here, we sit in their car and they want to take us home.”     
Sometimes at breakfast Prabhupada would have halava, which was  unheard of on a normal basis. At Bhaktivedanta Manor in England, where it was  cold, he sometimes requested heavier food, but normally his main meal was at  lunch. In the evening he regularly had hot milk and sometimes puffed rice when  it was available, especially in India. When I was with him in 1972 and ‘73, he  showed me how to make plain parathas, and he would have those along  with potatoes. This could be at nine or ten in the evening if he had some appetite.  Without an appetite Prabhupada never ate. In Los Angeles he sometimes had the  popcorn that was served to the sankirtan devotees in the evening. But he liked  puffed rice, which was light. He said that heavy food eaten at night is difficult to  digest and makes it hard to get up in the morning. He didn’t like to eat heavily in  the evening.     
Once in 1972, Prabhupada blasted me at the Radha-Damodar  Temple in Vrindavan during the time he spoke from The Nectar of Devotion. He  had The Nectar of Devotion classes every afternoon in the garden. At this time I  was still learning a lot as I had only been his servant for about one month. I was  recording his lecture, and there were many flies buzzing about Srila Prabhupada.  But everyone was just sitting there paying attention to class. He said, “Get a fan.”  So I brought a chamara fan. As Prabhupada spoke, I was doing an arati ceremony  to him. Flies were buzzing around, but instead of just chasing flies I was enjoying  doing this service. I was turning the whisk around, but the flies were still there.  Prabhupada flung his hand to chase the flies, and still I was so enamored by the  situation and so dull-headed that I continued turning the whisk. Finally Srila  Prabhupada looked at me and said, “Get someone up here with some  intelligence.” I was devastated. I sat down, and who should grab the chamara? A  very crazy, peculiar devotee named Kunja-bihari. He started swatting at these  flies. I was sitting by the tape recorder trying to occupy myself so that I didn’t  have to pay attention to what had just happened to me, and Kunja-bihari was  swatting at these flies. I looked up at Prabhupada, and Prabhupada looked at me  and nodded his head in appreciation, which further devastated me. I had failed.  Here I was his servant and a total failure. The class went on, and Kunja-bihari  continued to harass the flies so that they didn’t bother our spiritual master.  Prabhupada was satisfied, Kunja-bihari was in ecstasy, and I was still trying to  deal with my false ego.     
After Prabhupada took breakfast in his quarters in Los Angeles, I  would bring his plates back to the servants’ quarters down the hall and clean and  transfer all the remaining prasadam. Now, the very first piece of maha-prasadam  I ever had from Srila Prabhupada, back in August of 1972, was an orange rind.  Then I had eaten the whole rind, because it was maha-prasadam. But now that I  was Prabhupada’s servant, I took the orange rind from his breakfast plate and  threw it in the trash can. Then I transferred and distributed the rest of his  prasadam. Later on in the morning, I was in the servant’s quarters, where there  was a two-burner gas stove and a little cutting board, cutting vegetables for  Prabhupada’s lunch. Srila Prabhupada was chanting and walking back and forth  in the hallway. He walked by, saw me cutting vegetables, and saw the orange rind  in the trash can. That was it. He said, “What is this? This muchi thing you have  sitting there in the can? You are preparing lunch for the Deities, and you have an  eaten orange in the can?” I could not say anything. One thing I never did was to  say anything to Srila Prabhupada when he was yelling at me. He said, “Do they do  this in the Deity kitchen? They have garbage in the can at the same time they are  preparing for the Deity? Do they do that downstairs?” I said, “No, Srila  Prabhupada.” “But you are doing it up here? You are so muchi?” He repeated it.  “You are so muchi. You are a mleccha. How can you do this?” This went on for  approximately five minutes. It wasn’t at this time but a later time when  Prabhupada was arguing with me and he said, “Why do you do this?” And I said,  “I am just a fool.” He said, “You are no fun to argue with because you never fight  back.”     
We were taking a domestic Air India flight, and while everyone was  getting seated, Prabhupada and I were already sitting down. They had Indian  classical music, sitar and tabla, playing very loudly. Prabhupada said, “Do you  like this music?” I looked at him, wondering if that was a trick question. It was  nice music but it wasn’t Krishna conscious music. It was maya. So I didn’t say  anything. I didn’t answer, because I hated to be wrong. I could never answer  honestly, because I didn’t want to say the wrong thing. Finally Prabhupada said,  “This is very nice music.” Then of course I said, “Yes, Srila Prabhupada. This is  very nice music.” But I didn’t want to say the wrong thing. That’s probably why I  didn’t say too much while I was with Srila Prabhupada.     
On many occasions Prabhupada gave me things. One was very  funny. After I was married and had a child, I again became Prabhupada’s servant.  I was traveling with Prabhupada when my son, Mayapur Chandra das, was about  six months old. We were in Los Angeles, and Prabhupada called me into his room  and said, “Call Nanda Kumar. I want to see him.” I went and found Nanda  Kumar, and a few minutes later we both went into Prabhupada’s room and paid  our obeisances. I was about to leave when Prabhupada said, “No, no. Get me my  white bag.” Prabhupada’s white bag was very special. When Prabhupada traveled,  he had his white bag where he kept his important effects—bank books for the  Bhaktivedanta Book Trust and Mayapur-Vrindavan Trust, the personal items  from his desk, like a Gold Crest pen a disciple had given him, his silver tilak  mirror container, and a little bit of money. So I brought his white bag. He went  into this bag, took out a fifty-dollar bill, and gave it to Nanda Kumar. He took out  another one and gave it to me. He said, “These are for your children.” Nanda  Kumar said, “No, Srila Prabhupada. I can’t take this from you.” Prabhupada said,  “It’s not for you. It’s for your son.” That immediately stopped the objection. If  Prabhupada wanted to stop an objection from someone, he could stop it very  quickly. He was very good at that.     
I was massaging him at Bhaktivedanta Manor. We would always use  mustard oil for his body and sandalwood oil for his head, unless he was ill. If he  was ill there was no cold oil applied to his head. Sometimes during massages he  would say, “Put the lid back on the mustard oil.” This particular day we were  alone in the room, and I was sitting behind him, rubbing his head with  sandalwood oil. Then I massaged his back with the mustard oil that was in the  bottle that I didn’t put the lid on. I got up and proceeded to move around to his  side, when I knocked the small bottle of mustard oil over onto the floor.  Immediately he turned around and said, “Why didn’t you have the lid on the  mustard oil? You are so foolish. You will be intelligent when you are eighty.” Then  he said, “Get a cup.” I ran into the next room and got a cup. Both Prabhupada and  I got the mustard oil on our hands and scraped it into the cup. He said, “Now use  that oil on my body.” This was another one of his qualities. Srila Prabhupada  never ever wasted anything. Whatever you take, you use. Whatever prasadam you  take, you finish it. That was always his example. Anyway, I did joke with Srila  Prabhupada on occasion, but whatever I said to him I would think about once,  twice, three, four times before I’d say it. A few minutes went by. I was massaging  Prabhupada’s arm. He was very quiet, and I was very quiet. Finally I said, “Srila  Prabhupada, thank you so much. I thought it would take a lot longer than that to  become intelligent.” He cracked up, laughing. He found it very amusing.  Everything was so funny.     
On many occasions devotees would say to Prabhupada, “This  devotee is doing something wrong,” or “This devotee is not chanting his rounds.”  But Prabhupada would never say, “Then he should be removed.” Instead he  would always say, “Perhaps he is so busy that he does not have time to chant his  rounds.” It was interesting, because when Prabhupada would lecture and write,  he was always strict: “One must follow the four regulative principles. One must  chant sixteen rounds. One must be fully engaged in Krishna’s service.” That was  it. But as soon as he was in his quarters and some difficulty was brought to his  attention, then he had nothing but compassion. He would say, “You have done so  much service. See how you can take care of this. You just try.” And, “Chant your  rounds and we will see what we can do.” An arrangement could be made. He  would never reject someone because of falling down and breaking one of the  regulative principles. There was always some way to work it out. Of course, if  someone said something about the philosophy, then that was bad. Immediately  he was gone. But a fall down was different. “This was to be expected,”  Prabhupada would say. Once in Los Angeles he said, “If it were not for the  chanting of the maha-mantra, you boys and girls could not do anything. In the  West you have used so many drugs that you cannot accomplish anything.  Chanting Hare Krishna has enabled you to get all these temples and devotees. It’s  simply Krishna’s mercy and the chanting.”       
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'''To view the entire unedited video go to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uh5HtxnoUU&t=65s Memories 04 - Lokanatha Swami, Madhudvisa, Srutakirti, Nara Narayana]'''
===Interview 04===
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'''Srutakirti:''' It was sweet in New Dwaraka because I saw what Srila Prabhupada  did in his daily life. His rooms were so private that he could freely walk about,  down the hallway, even in and out of my room if he wanted to. I wasn’t anyone he  had to talk to. He could ignore me at will because I was there for him. I would see  him chanting his rounds. Once I was sitting in front of him in his quarters in New  Dwaraka when he was sitting and chanting. He pulled down a counter bead and  said, “There, I have finished my sixteen rounds. Now I can do any damn thing I  want.” [Laughs]     
Flying with Srila Prabhupada was always an exceptionally blissful  opportunity, because I was able to see Srila Prabhupada outside the devotee  community away from his spiritual children. I was able to see how Srila  Prabhupada interacted with people in the karmi world. Wherever he went,  Prabhupada was always lovable. On planes they often would be lenient with him  and show him respect. When Srila Prabhupada got up in the plane no one said,  “Sir, sit down,” because everyone got the feeling that Prabhupada was  transcendental to everything that was going on.     
Prabhupada was ringing the bell for a while, and it was my job to  answer it. When the bell rang, it didn’t mean anything to the secretary or the  Sanskrit editor, it meant, “Srutakirti, come here.” I don’t know how long  Prabhupada was ringing it, but I went to his room and offered my obeisances.  Srila Prabhupada looked at me and said, “Where were you?” I said, “I was at  mangal arati, Srila Prabhupada.” He said, “No, your job is to be here twenty-four  hours a day. No mangal arati. If I need you, you have to be there.” After that I  liked to tell everyone that I was the only devotee in ISKCON who didn’t have to  go to mangal arati.     
Ten minutes before the plane is ready to touch down, the flight  attendants turn on the “fasten your seat belt” sign and tell you not to get out of  your seat. For Prabhupada, that meant, “Get out of your seat.” He did the exact  opposite. They would put the light on and say “prepare for landing, everyone get  in your seats,” and at that time Prabhupada would use the bathroom and put his  tilak on.  In the overhead compartment we’d put the many garlands Prabhupada was  wearing from the temple that he had just left. When it was time to land,  Prabhupada would say, “Get the garlands.” I would get the garlands, and he  would pick one and put it on. Then he would say, “You take the others,” and we  would all get a garland. Prabhupada was careful about presenting himself as a  devotee of Lord Chaitanya. Lord Chaitanya said, “A Vaishnava is a person who,  when you see him, reminds you of Krishna.” That’s a Vaishnava. Prabhupada  adjusted his bead bag so it was centered and fixed his sannyas garment. He  always prepared himself nicely so that when he made his entrance, his disciples  who greeted him at the airport would see the perfect Vaishnava. Of course, no  matter how he looked, he was always the perfect Vaishnava. But he was careful in  that way. As devotees our makeup is tilak, dhoti, and kurta. Prabhupada liked  this very much.     
The first time I went to India we were there for three or four  months. In the second month I was on a morning walk with Srila Prabhupada,  when Shyamasundar looked me right in the eyes and started laughing. He said,  “Oh, boy, do you have jaundice.” My eyes were yellow. Right away everyone else  said, “Oh, you have jaundice.” Jaundice is very contagious. It’s transmitted by  touch. Some of the senior devotees said, “You shouldn’t cook for Srila  Prabhupada, and you shouldn’t handle his plates, because he might get jaundice.”  I thought, “Oh, God.” When I went to give Srila Prabhupada a massage I said,  “Srila Prabhupada, some of the devotees said that it’s better if I don’t cook for  you, handle your plates, or touch you because I have jaundice, and you might get  it.” Prabhupada said, “No, that’s all right. Don’t worry about it. Go on with your  service.” Then he said, “You have jaundice?” Very seriously I said, “Yes, Srila  Prabhupada.” He said, “What are the symptoms?” Besides being a pure devotee  who was always in touch with Krishna, Srila Prabhupada was also a master  chemist. He had his own Ayurvedic facility and certainly knew about jaundice. I  wasn’t thinking but was taking everything at face value, as I always did. When  Prabhupada said, “What are the symptoms?” I said, “My urine is dark, and the  whites of my eyes are yellow. And I’m very weak. I have  no appetite.” He said, “Oh, perhaps I have jaundice.” Then he said, “For jaundice  drink lots of sugarcane juice.” Sometimes Prabhupada used the analogy from The  Nectar of Instruction about how Krishna consciousness is transcendentally sweet  like sugar candy and ignorance is like jaundice. As the cure for jaundice is to eat  sugar candy, similarly the cure for ignorance is to chant Hare Krishna. In Bombay  there was an abundance of sugarcane juice, and drinking it was the fun part of  having jaundice. At that time we were staying at a life member’s place, Kartikeya  Mahadevia’s, and he arranged for me to get sugarcane juice a few times a day.     
After the morning walk, Srila Prabhupada walked through the side  door and up the stairs. Whoever had been on the walk would come inside and  chant, “Jai, Prabhupada!” as Prabhupada regally walked upstairs. Once when  Prabhupada was halfway up, he smiled and looked down at us. We were all New  Vrindavan boys, Kirtanananda, Kuladri, and I. Then Prabhupada looked up the  stairs and said, “I want to run up these stairs. I used to run up stairs, but now the  body won’t allow it. This is how we can understand we are not this body.” For  Prabhupada, everything was an example we could learn from. Prabhupada said,  “That desire is still there, unchanged. I still want to run, but now I can’t.” Of  course anyone that walked with Srila Prabhupada in the morning knew that we  practically ran. His pace was incredible. So Prabhupada’s example was a bluff,  but he used it to instruct us about the spirit soul.     
In Dallas, during the first week that I was his servant, Prabhupada  called me into his quarters after lunch one afternoon. I offered my obeisances,  and he said, “Srutakirti, your name is too long. I’ll call you Sruto.” Srutakirti  certainly isn’t one of the longest names that Prabhupada gave, but I thought it  was wonderful that Prabhupada started calling me Sruto. For the next few days,  he would look at me, smile, and say “Sruto.” Since I was a totally incompetent  and silly little kid, Prabhupada found me amusing and gave me an amusing  name. Sruto is a Sanskrit word and a bona fide name. Prabhupada said, “Do you  take a nap after lunch?” Whenever Prabhupada asked these kinds of questions,  I’d get tense, because I thought it was a test. I had to give the right answer because  I didn’t want to fail Prabhupada’s test. I thought that if I gave the wrong  answer I wasn’t a good devotee. I considered, “Srila Prabhupada takes naps  because he stays up late. Since I don’t stay up late I shouldn’t take naps,” so I  said, “Oh, no, Srila Prabhupada, I don’t take naps.” He said, “Oh, that’s very  good. I’m an old man, so I have to nap sometimes, like after I eat lunch.” It was  wonderful.  I had no question about what Srila Prabhupada did, but he explained to me  why he napped after lunch. Everything he did made you love him more and more.  Prabhupada patiently took care of me, instructed me, and even explained his  schedule to me. He was amazingly humble. Srila Prabhupada would call me into  his room and say, “Can you give me a massage now?” My twenty-four-hour-a-day  job was to wait for his bell to ring, but it wasn’t that I walked into his room,  offered obeisances, and he said, “Let’s go, massage time.” That wasn’t his mood.  He would say, “Can you give me a massage now?” In the morning it was, “Can we  go on the morning walk now?” Srila Prabhupada had a marvelous way of making  us more and more attracted to him. Every word he said endeared us to him.     
Rupanuga wanted to see Srila Prabhupada, and he had me come  with him. He and I were in the room with Srila Prabhupada and Rupanuga said,  “Srila Prabhupada, I heard that Srutakirti said that you said that World War  Three is going to start in 1978.” Prabhupada furrowed his brow, looked at me,  and said, “Did you say that?” I said, “No, Srila Prabhupada. I never said anything  about war.” War was the furthest thing from my mind. I was convinced that I  wasn’t going to die, so I wasn’t worried about a war. Prabhupada looked at  Rupanuga and said, “I have never said any such thing. They may say,  ‘Prabhupada said this, Prabhupada said that,’ but unless you hear me say it, don’t  believe it.”     
I wanted to leave Srila Prabhupada’s personal service, but Srila  Prabhupada wasn’t anxious for me to leave. He knew I was useless otherwise. At  least I could roll chapatis okay. I could bring him chapatis, and I could massage  him decently. I gave a good rub down. But I was back in Hawaii, now with a wife  and a child, and I was torn in many ways. I said, “Srila Prabhupada, I want to stay  in Hawaii with my family, and I wanted to preach.” He said, “My preaching is not  good enough?” He wouldn’t make it easy for me to leave.  Of course, I have so many regrets. I have done many things wrong in my life,  and this was one of them. When I left Srila Prabhupada’s personal service in  1975, I thought he would still be here now, in 1997. I didn’t see the urgency of  staying with him. I didn’t see that there are just so many days that Srila  Prabhupada is going to be with us, that I should give up everything, surrender my  life, and stay with him. Just as Srila Prabhupada said, “When a moment has  passed you can’t get it back.” I get to experience the truth of that statement every  day. That’s why I’m very enthusiastic to talk about Srila Prabhupada as much as  possible. When I speak about him then he’s alive, he’s with me. When Srila  Prabhupada’s qualities and pastimes are discussed, I can feel his presence, and  through his followers I’m able to get his mercy.     
Sometimes Prabhupada said, “There are very big problems.” He also  said, “If your mind is really disturbed, chant loudly. I do that.” And he did do  that. Srila Prabhupada’s mind was never material, but Prabhupada became  concerned about the goings-on in his Society. When I first became his servant,  the Juhu project occupied a lot of Srila Prabhupada’s time. He wanted Krishna to  remain on the Juhu property that he had acquired. Prabhupada said, “The Deities  are there. Once Krishna is there, I am not going to let that man take Him from  the property.” Prabhupada’s disciples didn’t always have Srila Prabhupada’s  fortitude. They didn’t have his conviction, and over and over again they would be  ready to give up the project. His disciples thought, “We can buy another piece of  property.” They would say to Srila Prabhupada, “This property is too difficult. We  can do the project somewhere else. Both the Government of India and Mr. Nair  are against us.” Prabhupada would get letters and telegrams saying, “Such and  such has left” or “Why don’t we do this?”, and Prabhupada would become upset.  I’d see him in his quarters pacing in the hallway and “chanting”, “Hare Krishna  Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare,” very loudly. I remember so fondly  how Prabhupada walked and how he had his hand behind him. He stood very  straight and moved his beads in his bag. He said, “If the mind is very disturbed,  then chant loudly.”     
A former sannyasi got married and already had a child when he  came to see Srila Prabhupada in Mexico City. I believe he was the first sannyasi to  fall down, and he was afraid to see Srila Prabhupada. He offered his obeisances  and mentioned how, in the Caitanya Caritamrita, Lord Chaitanya told Chota  Haridas to leave His association after Chota Haridas had glanced at a woman.  This former sannyasi asked, “Srila Prabhupada, do I have to leave too?”  Prabhupada said, “Lord Chaitanya could make the whole world Krishna  conscious in a second. But I can’t do that. I need all the help I can get. Do  whatever service you can do in the householder ashram; just be content.” It was  incredible. A sannyasi falls down, and Prabhupada said, “Now be a content  grihasta. Become peaceful and do service.” Whatever it took, Prabhupada wanted  to follow the orders of his spiritual master to spread Krishna consciousness all  over the world. Srila Prabhupada burned up our impurities and offered our  service to his Guru Maharaj.     
I was massaging Srila Prabhupada when a senior devotee came in  feeling very concerned. He said, “Srila Prabhupada, the leader here is not  chanting sixteen rounds. How can we follow such a person?” Prabhupada said,  “On the battlefield Arjuna wasn’t chanting his rounds. The great war of  Kuruksetra was going on, and Arjuna was busy doing his service. He didn’t have  time to chant his rounds. The leader here may not be fighting such a battle, but  you should see that this devotee is doing so much service that perhaps he doesn’t  have time to chant his rounds.”  Srila Prabhupada asked us to cooperate with one another and to follow the  chain of command up to him. He always did this. If there were some difficulty in  the temple, then you go to the temple president. If that didn’t work, you go to  your GBC man. Prabhupada wanted us to work together in that way.  Prabhupada gave different understandings depending on who he was talking  to. He dealt with each of us personally. When there was a devotee who was  managing a temple and doing a lot of business but who wasn’t chanting his  sixteen rounds, Prabhupada said, “What is the use of his management if he’s not  chanting his rounds?”  Prabhupada also told us that, “All the answers are in my books. For any  question, that’s where you have to go.” When Prabhupada was here with us, he  was very merciful. He accepted whatever little service we offered, hoping that it  would ignite our spark of Krishna consciousness and turn that spark into a flame.  He was very kind to us.     
When I was Prabhupada’s servant, I didn’t know much about what  was going on in the Society. I did my service, and I wasn’t interested in hearing so  many things. But I saw that Srila Prabhupada was determined to develop the land  in Juhu. I was massaging Srila Prabhupada in New Zealand. (The reason so many  of my remembrances are of when I was massaging him is because if I wasn’t  massaging Srila Prabhupada then I wasn’t with him. That’s why it sounds as if I  was always massaging Srila Prabhupada.) Anyway, at this time we received a call  from Bombay to inform us that Mr. Nair had died. Mr. Nair was a big demon that  had put our beloved Srila Prabhupada through much anxiety. And now he was  dead. I told Srila Prabhupada, and then I went behind him and started massaging  him again. Srila Prabhupada put up his hands and said, “Thank you, Krishna.” In  my foolishness I thought, “That’s not a nice reaction when somebody has died,”  but Prabhupada was glad, so I didn’t touch it. I just kept massaging. Prabhupada  said, “He was such a demon, he created so many difficulties for me.” When Srila  Prabhupada thought about experiences it was like he relived them. It seemed as if  everything was happening as he thought about it. Prabhupada said, “Even  Prahlad Maharaj says that it’s good when a snake or a scorpion is killed. Mr. Nair  was a great snake. The last time I saw him I noticed he had a limp. Mr. Nair was a  robust, energetic man, but when I saw that I thought, ‘he’s going to die.’”  When Prabhupada was in Bombay he would speak to Mr. Nair cordially,  calmly, and casually, but he was happy to see him die. As the great kshatriyas  would battle in the day and would speak together cordially in the evening, so  that’s also how Prabhupada battled.  So I was massaging Prabhupada as he talked and relished the moment. Then  I got into it a little. I said, “Srila Prabhupada, you said Nair was a great demon.  Does that mean that Krishna killed him?” He said, “No, he was not that great of a  demon. It was difficult for me, because so many of my disciples didn’t  understand. They thought, ‘Why is our spiritual master so attached to this piece  of property?’ In truth, we could have bought property anywhere. We didn’t need  that piece of property. But as soon as we bought the property and built the  temple, as soon as Krishna was there, I could not allow Him to be removed. I  didn’t need anything for myself.” At that moment everything came together for  me.  The battle over that property went on for years. Devotees would come from  the West to battle for the Juhu property and before long were licking their  wounds, devastated and wanting to leave India. Just being in India was difficult  in the early ’70s and dealing with this problem in Bombay was impossible. I  remember Bhagavan coming to Srila Prabhupada one day saying, “I’m here, Srila  Prabhupada. I’m going to take care of this.” Bhagavan always dressed neatly in  silk. I smiled to myself and thought, “I wonder how long he’s going to last here.”  In India we had a pessimistic outlook on everything. But sure enough, after a few  days Bhagavan’s nicely groomed hair was all over, and he became another war  casualty.     
In the evening Srila Prabhupada would walk around chanting and  would pull down a counter bead as he completed each round. It was wonderful to  see. Prabhupada said to me, “When I was a householder, I would chant four  rounds in the morning and four rounds before each meal. In this way I would  chant sixteen rounds daily. This is effective because if you don’t chant your four  rounds then you don’t eat.” He practiced this as a householder and said that we  could also do it.       
One of my most wonderful times with Prabhupada was in Bombay  when Prabhupada told stories about his childhood, about his mother, father, and  sister and their interactions. Prabhupada always talked about his father fondly  and credited his father for doing so much for him. Prabhupada said about his  father, “My father would give me whatever I wanted. Sometimes, late at night, I  would want puris, and my mother would say ‘No, not now; it’s too late.’ My father  would say, ‘If he wants puris, give him puris.’ So my mother would have to make  puris. My father was like that. Whatever I wanted, I could have. Perhaps my  father knew.” And then Prabhupada stopped speaking. My understanding is that  perhaps Srila Prabhupada’s father knew what an exalted personality Srila  Prabhupada was and what he was going to do in later years. To me it was clear  that that’s what Prabhupada meant, and it was nice to hear Prabhupada say it. At  the same time, a pure devotee understands everything is coming from Krishna.  Prabhupada genuinely understood, “I’m not doing anything at all.” As we  advance in Krishna consciousness we realize that Krishna has arranged  everything that happens.     
Prabhupada asked, “So, is the devotee simple or crooked?” One of  his disciples said, “Oh, he is simple, Srila Prabhupada.” Prabhupada said, “Are  you sure the devotee is simple?” The disciple said, “Yes, Srila Prabhupada, the  devotee is simple.” Prabhupada said, “No, the devotee is crooked. Just like me. I  have come here and tricked all of you into becoming Krishna’s devotees.” We  come to Krishna consciousness to enjoy, but we can do that only if we give  everything to Krishna for His enjoyment. Srila Prabhupada’s trick is that he offers  us Krishna, but we can have Him only when we surrender everything.     
If I’ve realized anything, I’ve realized that without Srila Prabhupada,  there is no reason for existence, there is no life. Once in New Dwaraka, Srila  Prabhupada was on the vyasasana giving class, when he looked at his watch and  said, “Now it is 7:32 a.m. When that moment has gone you can’t regain it. It’s  gone for eternity.” I thought, “Why does that matter? We’re all eternal.” That’s  how foolish I was. I couldn’t understand. Prabhupada would say, “If you waste a  moment in material consciousness, you can never bring it back again to be  Krishna conscious in that moment.” Now that Prabhupada’s gone, I realize that  although I was sitting at his feet, I was wasting those moments. I want to get  them back. 
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'''To view the entire unedited video go to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIKxbKT7lts&t=99s Memories 23 - Malati dasi, Srutakirti, Kirtanananda, Trivikrama Swami]'''


'''The full Prabhupada Memories Series can be viewed [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-Ajeil3NjKKgeN9-fxeWwQ here] and also at [https://www.prabhupadamemories.com www.prabhupadamemories.com]'''
'''The full Prabhupada Memories Series can be viewed [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-Ajeil3NjKKgeN9-fxeWwQ here] and also at [https://www.prabhupadamemories.com www.prabhupadamemories.com]'''
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==Following Srila Prabhupada==
 
===Interview DVD 04===
 
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'''Sruta-kirti:''' This was a really glorious return for him to Vrindavan. He really enjoyed his disciples being there, and Prabhupada was really excited about going back there. I became his servant a month before, and he had it planned out and he would give little ideas of what his plan was. And that’s what he said, he would be speaking in English because it was for his disciples, he said, not that he was going to speak in Hindi to the local inhabitants of Braj but he wanted to speak to his disciples and he was training them up in Krishna consciousness.
 
 
Prabhupada really liked Mayapur. He seemed really relaxed in Mayapur when we would come. I remember the one time we went up to his quarters when he first got there and, of course, I’d follow him in, setting everything up, and he was just looking out his window. The windows, of course, were on each side of his room. So he walked in his front door and he just looked out his window, and then it was just stretches of fields everywhere. It was wide open and very tranquil, very peaceful, and he would just chant and look out there. One time he turned and he just looked at me and he smiled and he said, “So Srutakirti Maharaj, you like it here in Mayapur?” I said, “Yes, Prabhupada, very much.” The way his quarters were set up there, they had the padding across the entire room. So sometimes you could go in there in the middle of the day and Prabhupada would be lying on the floor and he’d have his feet over the big bolster pillows that were against the walls. He would move one out a little bit so he’d have his legs hanging over the bolster pillow, and he’d just be relaxing. His morning walk was always right outside his room. As soon as he’d go down the steps, he was already on his walk. He also always knew everything – who was around, who wasn’t around, who was missing the walk – because sometimes if he was going out, he’d get down to the bottom of the stairs and he would ask where is such and such, where is this devotee, where is that devotee. One time he asked…I don’t know who it was… he said, “Where is this devotee?” Someone said, “Oh, he’s sick, Prabhupada.” Prabhupada kind of chuckled and I said, “Yes, Prabhupada, I think he has morning sickness,” and then Prabhupada laughed. He said, “Yes, that is the difficulty.” He expected everyone to be up in the morning. He never ever minimized that. He always did the opposite, even with the people that traveled with him because we were the ones affected too by that so-called jet lag as we traveled around, but he wasn’t interested in hearing about it.
 
 
In Calcutta there were so many parks Prabhupada would walk in. Back in the day when Prabhupada was growing up, he said Calcutta was their model city of what they wanted to create in India. They have many beautiful parks. Every few blocks there was another park. Of course, when we were there in the ‘70s, they looked a bit different than they did. But he said it was a beautiful city. That was their model, he said, of what they wanted to accomplish in India everywhere, and they did it in Calcutta.
 
 
Of course, this Rathayatra became very famous because Prabhupada never sat in his vyasasana which was there and walked and danced the entire way. What was the amazing thing was just days before and weeks before he had been very ill, he was in Mayapur and Calcutta, and he asked the leaders what he should do because he was being invited to the Rathayatra in London. He was also being invited, I believe, to Australia to rest and recuperate from his illness. I remember he told them, which he would do sometimes, he said, “Talk amongst yourselves and tell me what you think.” I remember massaging him that day when he said that and he said to me, “So, what do you think? Should I go to London for the Rathayatra, or should I go to Australia and rest?” I had been with Prabhupada about a year, so I already had an idea that he was going to go to the Rathayatra. That’s what Prabhupada did, he preached. There was no possibility of him passing up such a big opportunity for preaching, and I said that. I said, “Well, if you go to London, there will be thousands of people there at the Rathayatra Festival that you can preach to. And, of course, if you go to Australia, that won’t be there.” He just said, “Yes, that’s right.” So then later on in the afternoon, he called everyone in and he told them. He said, “We’re going to London to Rathayatra.”
 
 
This was a victory for Prabhupada, this Rathayatra going right down the main byways there in London to Trafalgar Square. Prabhupada saw to it that it was a very grand event, and he just danced and walked the entire way even though he was going to go recuperate somewhere from his illness because he was supposedly weak.
 
 
The bobbies, I guess they could see that I was his assistant, his servant, and they said to me, “You have to tell your leader to sit down because he is making too much of a commotion in the streets. We need to get order in the streets.” They didn’t like…they considered it very disorderly, all this dancing around. I ignored them once because I thought, “I can’t say anything to Prabhupada.” So then they kept coming up to me. This one officer kept saying, “You have to tell him, you have to tell him.” So finally I went up to Prabhupada, and he was just like this as he was dancing around and walking. I went up to him from behind, and I tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and looked at me and I said, “Prabhupada, they’re saying you have to sit down in your seat,” and he paid no attention at all and he just spun back around and continued to dance. So I just shrugged my shoulders. I went back up to the bobby and I said, “If you want him to stop, you tell him because he won’t listen to me.” So then he didn’t go up, and then they just let it go on.
 
 
This was another one of these events, very special events, like the opening of the temple in Vrindavan. This was conquering London. He conquered the British, Prabhupada. We knew what he was when he was young when he first met his spiritual master, right? He was into the Gandhi movement, he wasn’t into British rule. So now he came and took over Britain. That’s what he did. It was right back in their face. These are special triumphs, I think, that Prabhupada really, really enjoyed.
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===Interview DVD 05===
 
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'''Sruta-kirti:''' I guess it was several months later, there was an article in BTG on this installation and they brought the magazine to Prabhupada – he was in Vrindavan at the time – which they would always do. Whenever there was a publication, wherever Prabhupada was, of course, they would rush and bring it and show him the last Bhagavatam that was produced or the BTG. So he was at his sitting desk right here at Krishna-Balarama and they brought in the BTG, and Prabhupada started paging through it and it had the pictures of the Deities on the altar. Prabhupada looked at the one picture, and in the picture it was Krishna and Prabhupada. You could see the shot that was taken was Prabhupada and Krishna, and Prabhupada smiled. “Just see,” he said, “I am looking at Krishna and Krishna is looking at me.”
 
 
Prabhupada stayed here for over a month, I think, or at least a few weeks he was here, and it was a really beautiful time of year, which is not real common that you can get several days in a row with sunshine. But we seemed to, and Prabhupada even commented about it. He said, “England is very nice, but when the sun shines it’s one of the nicest places in the world.” He would come here every afternoon and sit down right on the lawn. At this time, they had just published a book, Lord Caitanya in Five Features. So that was the first volume to come out of Caitanya-caritmarta, the Adi-lila. So we had a copy of that, and when Prabhupada would sit down here in his place, sometimes he would have me read from there. Prabhupada always would sit and like to listen from his books, either read them himself or hear others read them, and he enjoyed hearing the philosophy that he was translating for us. And he always enjoyed it in the same mood that we did, just relishing Krishna katha. Anyway, the one day I remember I was reading from this book and, of course, it had the transliteration, had the Bengali in there, so I was just reading. Prabhupada had an audience and there were some Indians in there, and he was very happy. He said, “Just hear him. See how nicely he reads this Bengali. Even he has no experience, he can read it so nicely.” So, again, he always appreciated he had made devotees, and he liked to see them that they were capable in doing these things. So he liked to show the Indian community what he had done – he had turned these Westerners into devotees, into Vaishnavas. Prabhupada liked the simple things – sit outside. So in the afternoons if the weather was nice, he would sit out there. From his quarters, of course, this whole area, this is what you would see from his sitting room; and sometimes he would, again, as he would walk around in his room chanting and he would look out the window onto the lawn and the trees.
 
 
Another time he was looking out there and just looking across the lawn and the trees and he said, “So, do you know what is the most beautiful animal?” Whenever Prabhupada would ask you a question like that, of course, you either wanted to know the right answer and say it or you didn’t want to say anything at all because you didn’t want to say the wrong answer. So, of course, I was thinking. I was thinking of different animals and I thought you had to say a cow. Krishna loves the cows, He’s Govinda. So finally after a little bit I said a cow and Prabhupada just laughed and he said, “No, no, the horse. The horse is the most beautiful,” he said, “its body and its muscle structure.” I said, “Oh, yes, Prabhupada.”
 
 
He seemed very happy to just be in Mayapur, which at the time it was almost in the middle of nowhere. It wasn’t like Vrindavan – we’d go up and down the road, there was lots of activity. But here it was just very peaceful, and Prabhupada really enjoyed it. Sometimes in the afternoon or the morning he would go out with his beads, walk around on the veranda and would look out and just like here, you just see expanses of beautiful fields – nice, peaceful, flat – and he would walk around and chant. He would gaze across from his veranda. When he went to other areas, like in L.A., there was different kinds of management. When he went to Vrindavan for that one month and had all those activities, Nectar of Devotion classes, he had a program, there was a mission. But when he went here, it didn’t seem like that. Prabhupada was very casual, very relaxed, and certainly he manifested at different times his deep emotion for Lord Caitanya and Lord Nityananda. If you follow that one tour when he went from Los Angeles and he went to Mexico City, then he went to Caracas, and then Miami and Atlanta, they all had Gaura-Nitai Deities on the altar. And each lecture, his arrival lecture, he started talking about the mercy of Lord Caitanya and Nityananda, the two Lords, how merciful They were. It climaxed in Atlanta where he barely got out two sentences and he just went into ecstasy. So he definitely had this incredible mood and love for Lord Caitanya and Lord Nityananda and everything that They had done, that he had seen Them accomplish through his efforts.
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===Interview DVD 07===
 
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'''Sruta-kirti:''' I rejoined Prabhupada in New Vrindavan in 1974. I was away for six months, and that’s when I had gotten married. So now I was a grihastha. This one day the secretary starts reading this letter, and it’s from one of Prabhupada’s disciples and he’s the temple president and he’s married. In the letter, he asked Prabhupada if it’s OK if he gets a divorce and remarries. In the same paragraph he asked this question. So I’m just rubbing Prabhupada’s back and listening, and Prabhupada gave his permission. He said, “Yes, that’s OK.” So as soon as he said it, I couldn’t understand how Prabhupada had given that answer. I had been with him for a long time, listened to so many classes and Prabhupada speaking about Vedic society and marriage and no divorce; and when he said that, I became confused. Of course, I didn’t say anything, it wasn’t my position to speak. I knew Prabhupada…what he said was correct, but I didn’t understand it. It was probably the only time where I felt like that, that I just didn’t understand Prabhupada’s answer. Every evening I would give Prabhupada massage as well. So that evening I was actually so troubled that I thought, “I’m going to say something. I have to ask Prabhupada why he had said that.” I was at the foot of his bed, and I was rubbing his legs and rubbing his feet; and Prabhupada is lying down in bed just so peaceful, which was a little troublesome because you don’t want to say anything. But it was bothering me that much that I did. So finally, “Prabhupada, you remember during massage today that devotee sent a letter and he asked you if it was OK to get a divorce,” and I couldn’t even say “and get remarried.” As soon as I said it, “get a divorce,” Prabhupada said, “Yes, I told him it was all right.” I said, “Yes, Prabhupada, that’s why I’m asking because you always say that no divorce, there is no question of divorce. Once one is married, they stay together. But you told him it was OK.” Prabhupada said, “Yes, in your country these things are going on, very common.” Again, I had thought a lot about what I wanted to say to him. So as soon as he said that, I said, “Yes, but also in our country meat-eating is common and intoxication is common, but these things are forbidden for us.” Then he changed his tone and he became more serious. “Yes,” he said. “If I tell him no, still he is going to get a divorce and get remarried. So if I tell him yes, then the offense is not so great.” As soon as he said it, I could hear it in his voice and, of course, immediately I could understand Prabhupada’s compassion for everyone, for all of us. And it’s that quality that I got to see all the time with Prabhupada being with him outside of the temple room, where he would always speak from the Vedas and the sastra and always spoke the Absolute Truth. But as he dealt with us, Prabhupada was very kind and very compassionate. So I felt very happy. Of course, now as years go by you can see Prabhupada’s compassion more and more.
 
 
We were on an airplane from Mexico City to Caracas and Prabhupada started taking his puffed rice, puffed rice and peanuts. He ate for about 10 minutes or so, and then he just looked and said, “OK.” So I moved the puffed rice over and I gave half to Paramahamsa, the other half I had in front of me. After a few minutes, there was this stewardess, she was walking down the aisle and she stops right in front of us and she reached over, put her hand in my plate and grabbed a handful of puffed rice and threw it in her mouth. She says, “Oh, this is wonderful. What is it?” I said, “Puffed rice.” She said, “Why are you eating this?” I said, “We have our own diet and we’re vegetarian.” She said, “Oh, is there anything else I can get you?” I looked at Prabhupada and he looked at me, he said, “Hot milk.” She said, “Fine.” So after about 10 minutes she comes back with three plates. She left and I turned to Prabhupada, I said, “Prabhupada, that’s amazing, isn’t it?” Prabhupada said, “No, women, they have a natural propensity to serve.” Of course, I was thinking it was amazing that she took Prabhupada’s mahaprasadam right off of my plate. Somehow or other, she got what all of us were mad after was Prabhupada’s remnants. So when I travel, it’s always one of my favorite stories. One day I was giving class and I told this story, and after class a devotee boy came up to me and he said, “That’s an amazing story. Can I tell you a sankirtan story?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “We would go out to the villages far from all the cities in Brazil in different places. You have to go by four-wheel drive. One day we were in the rain forest really far away from everywhere, and we found this village and we did our Harinam. Then we began going door to door to distribute books. Then I went to this one house and I knocked on the door and a woman answered and tried to distribute books. As soon as she saw me, I was in dhoti and kurta, and she invited me in. I went in, and I started seeing that there were pictures of Krishna on the wall and she had an altar, she had Deities,” and he was so surprised. Then he said, “You’re a devotee,” and she said, “Yes, yes. It’s so wonderful to see a devotee here.” And he said, “How did you become a devotee?” She said, “Well, the first time I met devotees was I met Prabhupada on an airplane. I was a stewardess.” So this was the woman. It was 10 years later from that time after she took the mahaprasadam. Then she met devotees again and got a book, and that was it. That was the beginning of her spiritual life. Just seeing what Prabhupada has done, it’s mind-boggling to understand how Prabhupada has made devotees, and it just goes on and on.
 
 
Once in Calcutta we were driving back from somewhere and we went past this one park, and Prabhupada pointed to it and he said, “See that park? When I was a boy, I used to play football there.” Then he laughed and he said, “I was the goalie because they didn’t have to run around, and I didn’t like to run around so much so I became the goalie.” Calcutta was such an interesting place to be in because it was Prabhupada’s home through his childhood. He had such an amazing memory going way back.
 
 
I remember the first time going to Mayapur with Prabhupada. It was just one carload of devotees. It was just Prabhupada, myself, his secretary and…or maybe two cars, then a few other devotees. We prepared prasadam and stopped at the mango grove, and it grew into a really big ritual here with dozens of devotees. But it started out very simply. It was a very beautiful place and it was nice, it was the halfway point on the way to Mayapur. The first time I went to Mayapur with Prabhupada, there was just a thatched roof goshala where Prabhupada stayed. So things changed quite rapidly, and this also changed from just a few devotees into a caravan of vehicles headed to Mayapur. But, again, the principle of it was always the same; and Prabhupada taking prasadam, still that same consciousness was there. Prabhupada sat quietly and honored prasadam.
 
 
There was a big conversation that one morning walk about World War III. So the devotees, everyone got real close and started probing, and Prabhupada said the war would start between India and Pakistan. Then Prabhupada said after the war the preaching would be very good. The devotees were saying, “What should we do? Should we start the farm?” Prabhupada was saying yes and he said, “But we don’t care.” He looked up into the sky and he said, “We’ll just look up and when we see the bomb, ‘Here comes Krishna.’” The same thing in Mayapur when the snake was there. He said, “We don’t care. If Krishna wants to save you, no one can kill you. If Krishna wants to kill you, no one can save you.” So he didn’t express any concern on our part but it was in reference to preaching, how the war would affect preaching and how it would be better after the war, not that we were afraid of the war or death. But one walk, when we used to walk in these little single files along the little paths between the paddies, we said something to the effect like “Prabhupada, how do we understand that the spiritual master knows everything?” Prabhupada said, “No one can know everything. Only Krishna knows everything, but the spiritual master knows whatever Krishna wants him to know.” Then he also said, “The spiritual master knows everything that his spiritual master has given him. So in that sense he knows everything, but only Krishna knows everything.”
 
 
So then Prabhupada went up to his room, and then this big argument started downstairs and outside Prabhupada’s quarters with the different devotees. They were all speculating on what the proper etiquette was when your spiritual master goes into ecstasy on the vyasasana. Some devotees were saying we should have just sat there and waited for him to open his eyes again, and others said, “No, we should chant Hare Krishna. Chanting Hare Krishna is always proper.” So anyway, it went on and disagreement was there. So then we just had Prabhupada. Do we go to Prabhupada and ask him? You could always get the final answer. We could fight and fight, and no one would ever agree. Brahmananda was his secretary at the time, so we went into Prabhupada’s room and he said, “Prabhupada, do you know downstairs this morning when you went into ecstasy on the vyasasana?” Prabhupada was just looking and he said, “We were wondering what’s the proper thing to do when you do that.” And Prabhupada got all shy and humble and said, “I don’t do that very often.” He said, “No, no, Prabhupada, it’s all right. But when you do it, what should we do? Should we just sit there and wait for you, or should we start kirtan, should we start chanting?” Prabhupada said, “You can chant Hare Krishna,” and that was it. We were so silly. It would have been nice just to sit there even if it was an hour. It would have been wonderful because when Prabhupada went into ecstasy, you couldn’t help but on some level feel ecstatic symptoms yourself. Just knowing Prabhupada was in ecstasy like that, had gone inward like that, was enough to make you feel some bliss. So sitting and watching was nice.
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===Interview DVD 08===
 
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'''Sruta-kirti:''' As the opening was approaching, Prabhupada was on top of every detail that was going on; and he put what he considered all his best men in charge of all the different areas. They were all his GBCs and they were all the different administrators at that temple in charge of prasadam distribution, greeting guests, cleaning the temple. Whatever it was, they were just his assistants. And, of course, this was Vrindavan, so Prabhupada wanted everything done first class. I remember him ringing the bell so many times during the day to get this GBC, get this one, get that one, going back, and he would be checking up to make sure that they were doing everything properly. And even receiving all of his disciples, there was nothing that escaped Prabhupada’s vision, his perception. I remember him saying that all the devotees, they have to have nice facility to stay. They should have this to eat. They have to have cow’s milk, not buffalo milk. Every detail Prabhupada covered. It wasn’t just the installation ceremony. That also, he was taking care of that, but it was all the different details. He was always giving us the guidance. But it was clear that Vrindavan was his temple. He wanted to make that statement. It was very important that everything was done properly in Vrindavan.
 
 
Prabhupada was responsible for everything, and he pushed everyone to do as much as they could do and sometimes beyond our own limits. I remember Surabhi, who was in charge of it all, had to undergo a lot of chastisement. I would be getting Surabhi so many times towards the end of it, the last week, and I don’t know how much sleep he was getting. I know it wasn’t very much. Prabhupada would say, “Call Surabhi,” and he would tell him that this was wrong and that was wrong, and it was very intense.
 
 
There was one morning walk after the installation, and the temple was beautiful and it looked so beautiful. Tamal Krishna Maharaj was there and he said, “Prabhupada, Surabhi has really done a wonderful job.” Prabhupada chuckled and he said, “Yes, everyone is saying Surabhi has done so nice, but all I do is chastise him. But that’s my duty, I’m his spiritual master.” And when he said that, all the ideas I had about…oh, I used to think, “Poor Surabhi,” and you just could understand. Prabhupada was always pushing us; and if we were able to handle that and deal with it, you could make so much advancement in Krishna consciousness because with this pushing always came a lot of blessings. Whatever we could do was because of Prabhupada’s blessings.
 
 
After he spoke, Prabhupada said, “Let’s go.” Right away he sat down and he said, “So, did you understand what I was saying?” We said, “A little bit, Prabhupada.” He said, “Yes. I told them everyone is speaking so many things but not once did anyone mention Krishna, Who is the speaker of Bhagavad-gita, as being the Supreme Personality of Godhead.” He said, “So all of your activities here will be useless. You won’t accomplish anything.” So he was still going on in the car. Prabhupada was a defender of Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead. So he just told them all off, and then he got in the car and he left. I remember on the way back, we headed back to Delhi and there was a big typhoon and it was pouring rain and trees were blowing down in front of us and behind us. It was like all hell broke loose after Prabhupada left this assembly.
 
 
This is one of the things I think the devotees really appreciate, and I talk about it a lot. It’s seeing or hearing how Prabhupada lived, that we all need to see and know how Prabhupada practiced Krishna consciousness. And taking prasadam to me was such a wonderful activity, the way he did it. You can see he always took prasadam alone, 99% of the time. And if there was someone who was in the room when I would bring him prasadam, very graciously he would take off a piece of fruit or two or three for whoever was there or a little sweet and give them a little something and say, “OK, Hare Krishna,” and send them on their way. Then he would sit there and he would just honor prasadam. He did it very calmly and peacefully and never in a rushed way, never talking about different things, but he relished prasadam. It was such a nice thing to see. There’s another thing we do, especially as Westerners, we can turn taking prasadam into meeting times and socializing times with other devotees, just carelessly talking about whatever and really not get into the significance of honoring prasadam, mercy from Krishna. You could see with Prabhupada, he took it in that way. You could feel he was honoring Krishna in the form of His prasadam. So wherever he was, prasadam he was ready to have right around noontime. And as he traveled and the time changes, he would immediately adapt. There were no adjustment periods for Prabhupada. He never talked about jet lag, having to recover, take a day off. He just went right in and immediately accepted his responsibilities that he had given himself – giving class, greeting the Deities, morning walk, meeting with the devotees, the management, giving advice.
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===Interview DVD 09===
 
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'''Sruta-kirti:'''  When we arrived in Fiji, I remember it was practically one o’clock in the morning after our flight from Australia and it was Ekadasi. Of course, there was no temple then. We were staying at one Indian family’s house, and they had prepared prasadam for all of us; and, of course, it wasn’t Ekadasi prasadam. But Prabhupada said, “It’s OK,” and that was it. So we took prasadam. Then we went to bed around two-thirty or three o’clock. Then as Prabhupada did everywhere, when the sun was ready to come up Prabhupada was ready for his morning walk, and that was always the case. It didn’t matter how much Prabhupada was traveling, if he stayed in a place for two days or two weeks. As soon as Prabhupada got to the next place, he set his watch and he set his body and he just continued on. There was never any question jet lag, the word didn’t exist with Prabhupada. It wasn’t something anyone talked about. Prabhupada never exhibited it. We went out on a morning walk, and he would walk as quickly as he did everywhere for about an hour to an hour-and-a-half. Then we had a program. Prabhupada always had a morning program and he spoke, and then we had prasadam. Then Paramahamsa and I, we were just waiting for the opportunity to sleep again because we had only had three hours of sleep and for us that was really difficult, and we were hoping after breakfast Prabhupada would take a nap. So I brought Prabhupada his breakfast, and then when he was finished I came and took everything out and Prabhupada laid down. So I went back, I said, “Prabhupada’s resting.” So Paramahamsa and I, we laid down. Of course, we fell asleep, we were out, and Prabhupada maybe took 15 minutes or something and he was up. So finally I heard a bell ring. So I went into Prabhupada’s room, and it happened a few times where I would literally try to wake up as I was offering obeisances and exercise my eyes so Prabhupada couldn’t tell that I was sleeping. I sat up, and as soon as I sat up he said, “Why are you sleeping? You’re like dead men. Everyone is awake. The karmis are all at work but not the devotees. No, they’re sleeping.” He said, “They’re sleeping very soundly. Why are you sleeping?” And, of course, when Prabhupada asked why were you doing something wrong, I never had a response because whatever you said, he would just take that apart. So I just said, “Prabhupada, I’m sorry.” “What about Paramahamsa? Why is he sleeping?” He said, “Call him in here.” He goes in and immediately Prabhupada says, “You are a sannyasi. Your business is to minimize bodily demands, minimize sleeping, minimize eating. Why are you sleeping?” Paramahamsa said, “Prabhupada, I have jet lag,” and I thought, “Oh, no!” And Prabhupada said, “Jet lag?” He said, “Well, we just flew from here and done this,” and Prabhupada said, “So I am also flying, I am doing the same thing. I am awake.” Then he said, “All right, go on. Go sleep if you want.” So we go back to the room and, of course, we wouldn’t sleep. Sometimes five minutes would go by or sometimes a half hour and he’d ring the bell again. And you’d go in and then he’d tell you to start reading and he’d tell you some stories or something, and you would know that he wasn’t angry with you. He was always trying to save us from our own bad habits and trying to show us that becoming Krishna conscious is serious business and one has to follow the process, otherwise gradually one can fall away. But that was one of the things he would do after chastising – he would always have a way of being extra special nice a little later on, and then we knew that he loved us so much.
 
 
It happened on three different occasions. I went in and Prabhupada was reading Krsna Book and he said, “If you just read this one book, you can be Krishna conscious.” He said, “You don’t have to read hundreds of books. Just this one book.” He had his glasses on, and I was sitting in front of him. Then he just looked at me and he said, “You don’t even have to read the whole book, just one chapter. If you just read one chapter of this book, you can be Krishna conscious.” And I’m nodding my head, “Yes, Prabhupada.” But he just kept staring. And then he said, “You don’t even have to read the whole chapter, just one page,” and he just ran his finger down the page. Then he’s looking and he said, “You don’t even have to read the whole page, just one line,” and he ran his finger across the line of the Krsna Book. And I said, “Yes, Prabhupada.” And he’s still looking and he said, “You don’t even have to read a whole line, just one word,” and he pointed to a word in the book. He said, “Just one word of this book if you read you can become Krishna conscious because Krishna is in every word.” And then he put his head back down into the book, and I offered obeisances and I left. But he said that about three different books to me over a year. “If you just read this one book.” Once it was Nectar of Devotion, once it was Bhagavad-gita, once it was Krsna Book. But he said, “Any one of these, if you just read this one book, you can be Krishna conscious.” He can understand Krishna is in every word, and this is what Prabhupada gave us. Nobody else has given us this, this direct connection to Krishna through His pure devotee.
 
 
I felt very fortunate because I got to see Prabhupada when he wasn’t with his disciples, when he wasn’t busy training them in management in so many different ways or chastising them for the mistakes they had made and being involved in seeing that the books were being produced and all of these different services he was doing for his spiritual master. Then at various times in the day when the doors closed, Prabhupada was just there by himself; and they were the times that I liked the most because he was a devotee of Krishna, and Prabhupada loved Krishna. You would find him in his room reading, and sometimes from the servant quarters all of a sudden you would hear the harmonium. It wasn’t Krsna Kanti coming in and recording bhajans, Prabhupada was just doing bhajan. Whenever I heard that, I would run into the room and I would offer obeisances; and as soon as I would sit up, Prabhupada would give me the nod, “Get the kartals,” and I would play kartals and Prabhupada would play the harmonium and he would just chant. It’s one reason I stayed with Prabhupada as long as I did, because I found being with Prabhupada was very peaceful for most of the time. And it was amazing because, as we know, Prabhupada was doing everything, he was running everything, the entire society, the BBT, taking care of so much mail every day, doing the classes, the morning walk, instructing devotees. But somehow or other, it seemed like there were hours where Prabhupada was just alone. And he was a devotee of Krishna, and he was very sweet. He was doing everything he was asking us to do, just develop our love of Krishna by chanting and hearing and so many times reading his books. He would walk around and chant in his room; and he would just chant on his beads, walk around, and sometimes he would jiggle his bead bag, you could hear the beads in his bead bag. But there was just this peacefulness that was amazing because of everything that he was doing. But as soon as the door closed, that was all gone. It was just Krishna there with him, and Prabhupada was happy. Even someone like me could pick up on some of that and just feel so peaceful to be with Prabhupada. It’s like you didn’t want to be anywhere else at those times.
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Latest revision as of 15:41, 18 January 2022


Prabhupada Memories

Interview 01


Srutakirti: Before I was his servant, I read Krishna Book to him every evening in his garden in Los Angeles. Prabhupada was happy listening to Krishna’s pastimes. As the days went by, I would speculate on which stories he liked. He seemed to enjoy hearing about the pastimes of Krishna killing the demons. So one night I read about Dvivida the gorilla urinating on the sacrifice, and Prabhupada was laughing. He had so much fun listening to this pastime. The next day I was looking for another pastime that Prabhupada would enjoy and perhaps laugh about. But when he saw me looking through the book he said, “Anywhere, anywhere. Krishna is like a sweetball. Wherever you bite it, it’s sweet. So just read.” I immediately started reading.


As his servant, I tried to avoid politics. I was only nineteen or twenty years old, and I didn’t understand much, so I stayed clear of it. I think I was saved from a lot, and I was always able to appreciate Srila Prabhupada through my personal service to him. Today’s very special; it’s Father’s Day, and Srila Prabhupada was very much my father.

To view the entire unedited video go to Memories 15 - The 1996 NYC and LA Reunions

Interview 02


Srutakirti: At the end of 1972 and the beginning of 1973, Prabhupada stayed about five weeks in Bombay. At that time the devotees here, the sannyasis, Gargamuni, Tamal- Krsna Maharaj, and so many were busy making life members. This is how money was coming in at that time, the life membership program. It was one thousand, one hundred and eleven rupees and you would become a life member and by doing that you would get all of Prabhupada’s books, all of Prabhupada’s future books and you could get to stay in any temple in the world. It was a very good deal. The only thing was we weren’t giving them anything. We were taking the money but they weren’t getting the books, and letters were coming in from some of these Indian life members, complaining to Prabhupada, “Your disciples they’ve come and promised us so many things. Now they are not giving us the books. The books aren’t there.” They wanted the books. Prabhupada called a meeting at Mahadevya’s flat and he brought in his disciples. He said, “What’s going on?” He said, “There are all these life members who are complaining that they are not getting anything. You’re taking their money and you’re not providing them with the books. He said, “There’s no book keeping. Do you have records of what’s going on?” He said, “This is very important. If we can’t get this together here, we may as well pack our bags and leave India.” I had a big smile on my face as I thought Prabhupada was going to pack up and leave India. Prabhupada sometimes would be very dramatic. He would make his point by saying these very startling things. I was new with Prabhupada having been with him for only a few months and I thought it would be great to leave India as I already had malaria and jaundice. We’ll just go back to America where everything is nice and clean and organized. But he was trying to impress upon his disciples how serious it was by saying, “We must take care of things here.”


I always had a nice situation as it was one of the perks of being with Srila Prabhupada. Prabhupada would say a servant of the king lives just like the king. So I was always taken care of very nicely while I was with Srila Prabhupada. But sometimes I’d take advantage of the situation along with others in Prabhupada’s entourage and we were always getting into trouble. I remember in Juhu in 1974, we all started going to the beach. We would sit on the beach and go swimming before lunch. Within a few days everyone dropped out but I continued to go to the beach everyday. I came back one day and Paramahamsa came up to me and said, “Prabhupada wants to see you and he’s really mad.” He said, “He heard you’re going to the beach all by yourself and he’s upset.” I was very nervous. Prabhupada was honoring prasadam but I waited for him to finish lunch and then I went into his room. I offered obeisances, looked up and asked, “Prabhupada did you want to see me?” He looked at me and said, “No.” I said, “Paramahamsa said that you wanted to see me?” He said, “No.” I said, “Maharaj said that you were angry with me because I’m going to the beach.” He said, “Oh, you are going to the beach?” I said, “Yes, Prabhupada.” He said, “Are you going alone?” I said, “Yes, Prabhupada.” He said, “Oh, you’re having a good time?” I said, “Yes Prabhupada, it is nice to go in the water.” He said, “Yes, the beach is very nice here.” He said, “This beach is very good. You should go. It’s okay, you go.” I said, “Okay, Prabhupada.” I never went to the beach again after that day. As I said, with me he took a different approach. Prabhupada yelled at me on a few occasions but he could see that I just became totally devastated. So this was his approach now; to say everything was okay and allow me to do the right thing already knowing that he didn’t want me to do it.

To view the entire unedited video go to Memories 49 - Jayapat S, Sruto, Gargamuni, Gurukrpa, Narayani, RupaV, Hari, Ranjit, Nrsimhanda

Interview 03


Srutakirti: We were always anxious to get some mercy from Prabhupada in the form of his belongings. The first opportunity I had to do this was after my brahman thread disappeared. I had gotten brahman initiation in Los Angeles in 1972, and one month later my original brahman thread—the one that Prabhupada had chanted on—was gone. I was very attached to this thread and totally devastated that my link was gone. I thought, “This is definitely a bad omen.” Of course, then we didn’t have brahman threads from India. We just got six strings and tied them in a knot, and that was a brahman thread. So that’s what I did to continue chanting my gayatri, but I was never content. Later, when I had become Prabhupada’s servant, for some reason there was no question of asking him, “Would you chant on a thread for me?” But I devised a plan. After being with him for a month he told me that on each Ekadasi he would change his brahman thread, and at that time I could give him a new one. I thought, “Well now I will get Prabhupada’s old brahman thread.” Prabhupada was bathing, so I set up his table with his tilak, mirror, and a new brahman thread, as that day was Ekadasi. At this time Prabhupada was staying in the downstairs room at the Radha- Damodar Temple. I was on the veranda outside, just sitting, watching, and waiting. I was happy that I was going to get Prabhupada’s brahman thread. Prabhupada put his tilak on and placed the second thread around his body and began chanting gayatri. By this time I was busy in the kitchen helping Yamuna get his lunch together. Prabhupada finished his gayatri and walked into the kitchen to take prasadam. I raced into his room to find that he had broken all six strands of his brahman thread. “Why did he do this?” I thought, “Because I wanted his thread?” I was very stubborn, so I tied each strand in a little knot, all six of them. I thought, “Now I have my brahman thread. Despite everything I still have it. Prabhupada has chanted on it so many times. So it is better than my original brahman thread.” I took the brahman thread and put it in my pocket and went to Prabhupada while he was taking prasadam. He said, “So, that brahman thread that I have left on the table.” I said, “Yes, Srila Prabhupada.” He said, “You should take that brahman thread and dig under tulasi devi and bury it. I thought, “No. This is impossible. Is this what they do, or is he just doing this to me?” I said, “OK, Srila Prabhupada.” Of course, I didn’t obey that order because I was so determined. That was one order that Srila Prabhupada gave me that I just reneged on, because I thought that I have to have this brahman thread. That was the beginning of many opportunities I had to get maha-prasadam from Srila Prabhupada.


I went to New York when I got initiated, and, since I was with Kirtanananda as his servant, I would sit near Srila Prabhupada’s vyasasana. The New York temple room wasn’t very big and was very crowded because devotees from all over—Columbus, Pittsburgh, New Vrindavan, and other places—had come to New York to see Srila Prabhupada. Once, during kirtan in the temple room, devotees were crunched together. After we bowed down to pay our obeisances, a devotee behind me, whose head was right at my feet, got up at the same time I did. This devotee pushed me forward so that I fell across Prabhupada’s vyasasana and literally onto him. He looked over and said, “What is the difficulty?” Just like a mouse, I said, “It’s nothing, Srila Prabhupada” and cowered back into my space. That was the first time I made my presence known to Srila Prabhupada.


Every afternoon we would have Krishna Book readings, and I, fortunately, was the designated reader. Sometimes Prabhupada would make comments during the readings, sometimes he would just sit very quietly, and sometimes he would laugh. I would always try to find stories about demons because Prabhupada would react to these stories more than others. He would usually laugh when Krishna was killing the demons. One day while I was searching for a story to read, he said, “Just read from anywhere. Krishna is like a sweetball. Wherever you bite, it’s sweet.” Then I quickly went to the next page and began reading.


Kirtananada said, “I have trained him in cooking. He cooks very nicely, but he doesn’t know how to massage yet.” Prabhupada said, “Anyone can massage. It’s not very difficult.” Then Prabhupada said to me, “So, follow me.” We went outside, and he said, “Take the lota.” I grabbed the lota. We walked about twenty or thirty paces and he said, “Give me the lota.” I handed him the lota, and he went off into the bushes to pass. After a few minutes he came back and said, “Here. Now wash this.” I immediately became aware of my service. As Prabhupada’s servant, I did every menial thing, no matter what. I took great pleasure in this. I thought it was great. I was actually going to be taking care of Prabhupada in whatever little need he had.


As Prabhupada’s servant, massage was the best time for me, as I was in close contact with him and doing nice service. It always made me feel very good. During massage in the morning, Prabhupada’s secretary would come in, and Prabhupada would hear his letters and answer them. While he was doing this I was massaging him. I would start on his head and continuously massage his head until he said, “Okay,” or gave a gesture with his body, and then I’d go to the next spot. Sometimes, if he was immersed in something, I could massage part of his body for a long time. Massage generally lasted about one hour. But sometimes it would go to two hours or two and a half hours if he was absorbed in his business. It was very nice, but it could also become a little bit tiring. After being with him for some time, I started to feel that I knew what I was doing quite well. I would massage his head, and when I felt that I had done it sufficiently, I would move on to the next part of his body. I was doing this for probably a week or so. Then one day I was massaging his head, and I went on to massage his back. He didn’t say anything. Then I stopped massaging his back and started to move around to the side when he said, “You massage until I tell you to stop, not you tell you to stop.” From that time on, massage took a different turn— again I would do whatever Srila Prabhupada wanted.


In Bombay there were two kinds of cars: one looked like an old Plymouth and the other was an Ambassador. Everyone either had a Plymouthlike car or an Ambassador. Shyamasundar had driven Srila Prabhupada, Pradyumna, and me in the Plymouth-like car to go for a morning walk. We parked the car, got out, and had a nice walk. One and a half hours later we returned to the car. Shyamasundar tried to start it for a few minutes and then said, “The key is not working. The key is not working.” Prabhupada said, “What is wrong?” Shyamasundar said, “I don’t know. I can’t get the key to work in the car.” We were sitting there for about five minutes, and all of a sudden two Indian men came up to the car and began talking to Srila Prabhupada in Hindi. Everything was very friendly. Prabhupada said, “He said that this is not our car. This is their car.” The men decided that they wanted to take Srila Prabhupada to his quarters. They convinced him that they wanted to do this service because he was a swami. They said, “Swamiji, we will take you to where you are going.” Srila Prabhupada and I remained in the back seat, and the two gentlemen got into the front seat of the car, while Shyamasundar and Pradyumna went to find the other car. Srila Prabhupada said, “This is the difference between your country and India. In your country, if we were sitting in someone’s car, immediately they would have had us arrested. But here, we sit in their car and they want to take us home.”


Sometimes at breakfast Prabhupada would have halava, which was unheard of on a normal basis. At Bhaktivedanta Manor in England, where it was cold, he sometimes requested heavier food, but normally his main meal was at lunch. In the evening he regularly had hot milk and sometimes puffed rice when it was available, especially in India. When I was with him in 1972 and ‘73, he showed me how to make plain parathas, and he would have those along with potatoes. This could be at nine or ten in the evening if he had some appetite. Without an appetite Prabhupada never ate. In Los Angeles he sometimes had the popcorn that was served to the sankirtan devotees in the evening. But he liked puffed rice, which was light. He said that heavy food eaten at night is difficult to digest and makes it hard to get up in the morning. He didn’t like to eat heavily in the evening.


Once in 1972, Prabhupada blasted me at the Radha-Damodar Temple in Vrindavan during the time he spoke from The Nectar of Devotion. He had The Nectar of Devotion classes every afternoon in the garden. At this time I was still learning a lot as I had only been his servant for about one month. I was recording his lecture, and there were many flies buzzing about Srila Prabhupada. But everyone was just sitting there paying attention to class. He said, “Get a fan.” So I brought a chamara fan. As Prabhupada spoke, I was doing an arati ceremony to him. Flies were buzzing around, but instead of just chasing flies I was enjoying doing this service. I was turning the whisk around, but the flies were still there. Prabhupada flung his hand to chase the flies, and still I was so enamored by the situation and so dull-headed that I continued turning the whisk. Finally Srila Prabhupada looked at me and said, “Get someone up here with some intelligence.” I was devastated. I sat down, and who should grab the chamara? A very crazy, peculiar devotee named Kunja-bihari. He started swatting at these flies. I was sitting by the tape recorder trying to occupy myself so that I didn’t have to pay attention to what had just happened to me, and Kunja-bihari was swatting at these flies. I looked up at Prabhupada, and Prabhupada looked at me and nodded his head in appreciation, which further devastated me. I had failed. Here I was his servant and a total failure. The class went on, and Kunja-bihari continued to harass the flies so that they didn’t bother our spiritual master. Prabhupada was satisfied, Kunja-bihari was in ecstasy, and I was still trying to deal with my false ego.


After Prabhupada took breakfast in his quarters in Los Angeles, I would bring his plates back to the servants’ quarters down the hall and clean and transfer all the remaining prasadam. Now, the very first piece of maha-prasadam I ever had from Srila Prabhupada, back in August of 1972, was an orange rind. Then I had eaten the whole rind, because it was maha-prasadam. But now that I was Prabhupada’s servant, I took the orange rind from his breakfast plate and threw it in the trash can. Then I transferred and distributed the rest of his prasadam. Later on in the morning, I was in the servant’s quarters, where there was a two-burner gas stove and a little cutting board, cutting vegetables for Prabhupada’s lunch. Srila Prabhupada was chanting and walking back and forth in the hallway. He walked by, saw me cutting vegetables, and saw the orange rind in the trash can. That was it. He said, “What is this? This muchi thing you have sitting there in the can? You are preparing lunch for the Deities, and you have an eaten orange in the can?” I could not say anything. One thing I never did was to say anything to Srila Prabhupada when he was yelling at me. He said, “Do they do this in the Deity kitchen? They have garbage in the can at the same time they are preparing for the Deity? Do they do that downstairs?” I said, “No, Srila Prabhupada.” “But you are doing it up here? You are so muchi?” He repeated it. “You are so muchi. You are a mleccha. How can you do this?” This went on for approximately five minutes. It wasn’t at this time but a later time when Prabhupada was arguing with me and he said, “Why do you do this?” And I said, “I am just a fool.” He said, “You are no fun to argue with because you never fight back.”


We were taking a domestic Air India flight, and while everyone was getting seated, Prabhupada and I were already sitting down. They had Indian classical music, sitar and tabla, playing very loudly. Prabhupada said, “Do you like this music?” I looked at him, wondering if that was a trick question. It was nice music but it wasn’t Krishna conscious music. It was maya. So I didn’t say anything. I didn’t answer, because I hated to be wrong. I could never answer honestly, because I didn’t want to say the wrong thing. Finally Prabhupada said, “This is very nice music.” Then of course I said, “Yes, Srila Prabhupada. This is very nice music.” But I didn’t want to say the wrong thing. That’s probably why I didn’t say too much while I was with Srila Prabhupada.


On many occasions Prabhupada gave me things. One was very funny. After I was married and had a child, I again became Prabhupada’s servant. I was traveling with Prabhupada when my son, Mayapur Chandra das, was about six months old. We were in Los Angeles, and Prabhupada called me into his room and said, “Call Nanda Kumar. I want to see him.” I went and found Nanda Kumar, and a few minutes later we both went into Prabhupada’s room and paid our obeisances. I was about to leave when Prabhupada said, “No, no. Get me my white bag.” Prabhupada’s white bag was very special. When Prabhupada traveled, he had his white bag where he kept his important effects—bank books for the Bhaktivedanta Book Trust and Mayapur-Vrindavan Trust, the personal items from his desk, like a Gold Crest pen a disciple had given him, his silver tilak mirror container, and a little bit of money. So I brought his white bag. He went into this bag, took out a fifty-dollar bill, and gave it to Nanda Kumar. He took out another one and gave it to me. He said, “These are for your children.” Nanda Kumar said, “No, Srila Prabhupada. I can’t take this from you.” Prabhupada said, “It’s not for you. It’s for your son.” That immediately stopped the objection. If Prabhupada wanted to stop an objection from someone, he could stop it very quickly. He was very good at that.


I was massaging him at Bhaktivedanta Manor. We would always use mustard oil for his body and sandalwood oil for his head, unless he was ill. If he was ill there was no cold oil applied to his head. Sometimes during massages he would say, “Put the lid back on the mustard oil.” This particular day we were alone in the room, and I was sitting behind him, rubbing his head with sandalwood oil. Then I massaged his back with the mustard oil that was in the bottle that I didn’t put the lid on. I got up and proceeded to move around to his side, when I knocked the small bottle of mustard oil over onto the floor. Immediately he turned around and said, “Why didn’t you have the lid on the mustard oil? You are so foolish. You will be intelligent when you are eighty.” Then he said, “Get a cup.” I ran into the next room and got a cup. Both Prabhupada and I got the mustard oil on our hands and scraped it into the cup. He said, “Now use that oil on my body.” This was another one of his qualities. Srila Prabhupada never ever wasted anything. Whatever you take, you use. Whatever prasadam you take, you finish it. That was always his example. Anyway, I did joke with Srila Prabhupada on occasion, but whatever I said to him I would think about once, twice, three, four times before I’d say it. A few minutes went by. I was massaging Prabhupada’s arm. He was very quiet, and I was very quiet. Finally I said, “Srila Prabhupada, thank you so much. I thought it would take a lot longer than that to become intelligent.” He cracked up, laughing. He found it very amusing. Everything was so funny.


On many occasions devotees would say to Prabhupada, “This devotee is doing something wrong,” or “This devotee is not chanting his rounds.” But Prabhupada would never say, “Then he should be removed.” Instead he would always say, “Perhaps he is so busy that he does not have time to chant his rounds.” It was interesting, because when Prabhupada would lecture and write, he was always strict: “One must follow the four regulative principles. One must chant sixteen rounds. One must be fully engaged in Krishna’s service.” That was it. But as soon as he was in his quarters and some difficulty was brought to his attention, then he had nothing but compassion. He would say, “You have done so much service. See how you can take care of this. You just try.” And, “Chant your rounds and we will see what we can do.” An arrangement could be made. He would never reject someone because of falling down and breaking one of the regulative principles. There was always some way to work it out. Of course, if someone said something about the philosophy, then that was bad. Immediately he was gone. But a fall down was different. “This was to be expected,” Prabhupada would say. Once in Los Angeles he said, “If it were not for the chanting of the maha-mantra, you boys and girls could not do anything. In the West you have used so many drugs that you cannot accomplish anything. Chanting Hare Krishna has enabled you to get all these temples and devotees. It’s simply Krishna’s mercy and the chanting.”

To view the entire unedited video go to Memories 04 - Lokanatha Swami, Madhudvisa, Srutakirti, Nara Narayana

Interview 04


Srutakirti: It was sweet in New Dwaraka because I saw what Srila Prabhupada did in his daily life. His rooms were so private that he could freely walk about, down the hallway, even in and out of my room if he wanted to. I wasn’t anyone he had to talk to. He could ignore me at will because I was there for him. I would see him chanting his rounds. Once I was sitting in front of him in his quarters in New Dwaraka when he was sitting and chanting. He pulled down a counter bead and said, “There, I have finished my sixteen rounds. Now I can do any damn thing I want.” [Laughs]


Flying with Srila Prabhupada was always an exceptionally blissful opportunity, because I was able to see Srila Prabhupada outside the devotee community away from his spiritual children. I was able to see how Srila Prabhupada interacted with people in the karmi world. Wherever he went, Prabhupada was always lovable. On planes they often would be lenient with him and show him respect. When Srila Prabhupada got up in the plane no one said, “Sir, sit down,” because everyone got the feeling that Prabhupada was transcendental to everything that was going on.


Prabhupada was ringing the bell for a while, and it was my job to answer it. When the bell rang, it didn’t mean anything to the secretary or the Sanskrit editor, it meant, “Srutakirti, come here.” I don’t know how long Prabhupada was ringing it, but I went to his room and offered my obeisances. Srila Prabhupada looked at me and said, “Where were you?” I said, “I was at mangal arati, Srila Prabhupada.” He said, “No, your job is to be here twenty-four hours a day. No mangal arati. If I need you, you have to be there.” After that I liked to tell everyone that I was the only devotee in ISKCON who didn’t have to go to mangal arati.


Ten minutes before the plane is ready to touch down, the flight attendants turn on the “fasten your seat belt” sign and tell you not to get out of your seat. For Prabhupada, that meant, “Get out of your seat.” He did the exact opposite. They would put the light on and say “prepare for landing, everyone get in your seats,” and at that time Prabhupada would use the bathroom and put his tilak on. In the overhead compartment we’d put the many garlands Prabhupada was wearing from the temple that he had just left. When it was time to land, Prabhupada would say, “Get the garlands.” I would get the garlands, and he would pick one and put it on. Then he would say, “You take the others,” and we would all get a garland. Prabhupada was careful about presenting himself as a devotee of Lord Chaitanya. Lord Chaitanya said, “A Vaishnava is a person who, when you see him, reminds you of Krishna.” That’s a Vaishnava. Prabhupada adjusted his bead bag so it was centered and fixed his sannyas garment. He always prepared himself nicely so that when he made his entrance, his disciples who greeted him at the airport would see the perfect Vaishnava. Of course, no matter how he looked, he was always the perfect Vaishnava. But he was careful in that way. As devotees our makeup is tilak, dhoti, and kurta. Prabhupada liked this very much.


The first time I went to India we were there for three or four months. In the second month I was on a morning walk with Srila Prabhupada, when Shyamasundar looked me right in the eyes and started laughing. He said, “Oh, boy, do you have jaundice.” My eyes were yellow. Right away everyone else said, “Oh, you have jaundice.” Jaundice is very contagious. It’s transmitted by touch. Some of the senior devotees said, “You shouldn’t cook for Srila Prabhupada, and you shouldn’t handle his plates, because he might get jaundice.” I thought, “Oh, God.” When I went to give Srila Prabhupada a massage I said, “Srila Prabhupada, some of the devotees said that it’s better if I don’t cook for you, handle your plates, or touch you because I have jaundice, and you might get it.” Prabhupada said, “No, that’s all right. Don’t worry about it. Go on with your service.” Then he said, “You have jaundice?” Very seriously I said, “Yes, Srila Prabhupada.” He said, “What are the symptoms?” Besides being a pure devotee who was always in touch with Krishna, Srila Prabhupada was also a master chemist. He had his own Ayurvedic facility and certainly knew about jaundice. I wasn’t thinking but was taking everything at face value, as I always did. When Prabhupada said, “What are the symptoms?” I said, “My urine is dark, and the whites of my eyes are yellow. And I’m very weak. I have no appetite.” He said, “Oh, perhaps I have jaundice.” Then he said, “For jaundice drink lots of sugarcane juice.” Sometimes Prabhupada used the analogy from The Nectar of Instruction about how Krishna consciousness is transcendentally sweet like sugar candy and ignorance is like jaundice. As the cure for jaundice is to eat sugar candy, similarly the cure for ignorance is to chant Hare Krishna. In Bombay there was an abundance of sugarcane juice, and drinking it was the fun part of having jaundice. At that time we were staying at a life member’s place, Kartikeya Mahadevia’s, and he arranged for me to get sugarcane juice a few times a day.


After the morning walk, Srila Prabhupada walked through the side door and up the stairs. Whoever had been on the walk would come inside and chant, “Jai, Prabhupada!” as Prabhupada regally walked upstairs. Once when Prabhupada was halfway up, he smiled and looked down at us. We were all New Vrindavan boys, Kirtanananda, Kuladri, and I. Then Prabhupada looked up the stairs and said, “I want to run up these stairs. I used to run up stairs, but now the body won’t allow it. This is how we can understand we are not this body.” For Prabhupada, everything was an example we could learn from. Prabhupada said, “That desire is still there, unchanged. I still want to run, but now I can’t.” Of course anyone that walked with Srila Prabhupada in the morning knew that we practically ran. His pace was incredible. So Prabhupada’s example was a bluff, but he used it to instruct us about the spirit soul.


In Dallas, during the first week that I was his servant, Prabhupada called me into his quarters after lunch one afternoon. I offered my obeisances, and he said, “Srutakirti, your name is too long. I’ll call you Sruto.” Srutakirti certainly isn’t one of the longest names that Prabhupada gave, but I thought it was wonderful that Prabhupada started calling me Sruto. For the next few days, he would look at me, smile, and say “Sruto.” Since I was a totally incompetent and silly little kid, Prabhupada found me amusing and gave me an amusing name. Sruto is a Sanskrit word and a bona fide name. Prabhupada said, “Do you take a nap after lunch?” Whenever Prabhupada asked these kinds of questions, I’d get tense, because I thought it was a test. I had to give the right answer because I didn’t want to fail Prabhupada’s test. I thought that if I gave the wrong answer I wasn’t a good devotee. I considered, “Srila Prabhupada takes naps because he stays up late. Since I don’t stay up late I shouldn’t take naps,” so I said, “Oh, no, Srila Prabhupada, I don’t take naps.” He said, “Oh, that’s very good. I’m an old man, so I have to nap sometimes, like after I eat lunch.” It was wonderful. I had no question about what Srila Prabhupada did, but he explained to me why he napped after lunch. Everything he did made you love him more and more. Prabhupada patiently took care of me, instructed me, and even explained his schedule to me. He was amazingly humble. Srila Prabhupada would call me into his room and say, “Can you give me a massage now?” My twenty-four-hour-a-day job was to wait for his bell to ring, but it wasn’t that I walked into his room, offered obeisances, and he said, “Let’s go, massage time.” That wasn’t his mood. He would say, “Can you give me a massage now?” In the morning it was, “Can we go on the morning walk now?” Srila Prabhupada had a marvelous way of making us more and more attracted to him. Every word he said endeared us to him.


Rupanuga wanted to see Srila Prabhupada, and he had me come with him. He and I were in the room with Srila Prabhupada and Rupanuga said, “Srila Prabhupada, I heard that Srutakirti said that you said that World War Three is going to start in 1978.” Prabhupada furrowed his brow, looked at me, and said, “Did you say that?” I said, “No, Srila Prabhupada. I never said anything about war.” War was the furthest thing from my mind. I was convinced that I wasn’t going to die, so I wasn’t worried about a war. Prabhupada looked at Rupanuga and said, “I have never said any such thing. They may say, ‘Prabhupada said this, Prabhupada said that,’ but unless you hear me say it, don’t believe it.”


I wanted to leave Srila Prabhupada’s personal service, but Srila Prabhupada wasn’t anxious for me to leave. He knew I was useless otherwise. At least I could roll chapatis okay. I could bring him chapatis, and I could massage him decently. I gave a good rub down. But I was back in Hawaii, now with a wife and a child, and I was torn in many ways. I said, “Srila Prabhupada, I want to stay in Hawaii with my family, and I wanted to preach.” He said, “My preaching is not good enough?” He wouldn’t make it easy for me to leave. Of course, I have so many regrets. I have done many things wrong in my life, and this was one of them. When I left Srila Prabhupada’s personal service in 1975, I thought he would still be here now, in 1997. I didn’t see the urgency of staying with him. I didn’t see that there are just so many days that Srila Prabhupada is going to be with us, that I should give up everything, surrender my life, and stay with him. Just as Srila Prabhupada said, “When a moment has passed you can’t get it back.” I get to experience the truth of that statement every day. That’s why I’m very enthusiastic to talk about Srila Prabhupada as much as possible. When I speak about him then he’s alive, he’s with me. When Srila Prabhupada’s qualities and pastimes are discussed, I can feel his presence, and through his followers I’m able to get his mercy.


Sometimes Prabhupada said, “There are very big problems.” He also said, “If your mind is really disturbed, chant loudly. I do that.” And he did do that. Srila Prabhupada’s mind was never material, but Prabhupada became concerned about the goings-on in his Society. When I first became his servant, the Juhu project occupied a lot of Srila Prabhupada’s time. He wanted Krishna to remain on the Juhu property that he had acquired. Prabhupada said, “The Deities are there. Once Krishna is there, I am not going to let that man take Him from the property.” Prabhupada’s disciples didn’t always have Srila Prabhupada’s fortitude. They didn’t have his conviction, and over and over again they would be ready to give up the project. His disciples thought, “We can buy another piece of property.” They would say to Srila Prabhupada, “This property is too difficult. We can do the project somewhere else. Both the Government of India and Mr. Nair are against us.” Prabhupada would get letters and telegrams saying, “Such and such has left” or “Why don’t we do this?”, and Prabhupada would become upset. I’d see him in his quarters pacing in the hallway and “chanting”, “Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare,” very loudly. I remember so fondly how Prabhupada walked and how he had his hand behind him. He stood very straight and moved his beads in his bag. He said, “If the mind is very disturbed, then chant loudly.”


A former sannyasi got married and already had a child when he came to see Srila Prabhupada in Mexico City. I believe he was the first sannyasi to fall down, and he was afraid to see Srila Prabhupada. He offered his obeisances and mentioned how, in the Caitanya Caritamrita, Lord Chaitanya told Chota Haridas to leave His association after Chota Haridas had glanced at a woman. This former sannyasi asked, “Srila Prabhupada, do I have to leave too?” Prabhupada said, “Lord Chaitanya could make the whole world Krishna conscious in a second. But I can’t do that. I need all the help I can get. Do whatever service you can do in the householder ashram; just be content.” It was incredible. A sannyasi falls down, and Prabhupada said, “Now be a content grihasta. Become peaceful and do service.” Whatever it took, Prabhupada wanted to follow the orders of his spiritual master to spread Krishna consciousness all over the world. Srila Prabhupada burned up our impurities and offered our service to his Guru Maharaj.


I was massaging Srila Prabhupada when a senior devotee came in feeling very concerned. He said, “Srila Prabhupada, the leader here is not chanting sixteen rounds. How can we follow such a person?” Prabhupada said, “On the battlefield Arjuna wasn’t chanting his rounds. The great war of Kuruksetra was going on, and Arjuna was busy doing his service. He didn’t have time to chant his rounds. The leader here may not be fighting such a battle, but you should see that this devotee is doing so much service that perhaps he doesn’t have time to chant his rounds.” Srila Prabhupada asked us to cooperate with one another and to follow the chain of command up to him. He always did this. If there were some difficulty in the temple, then you go to the temple president. If that didn’t work, you go to your GBC man. Prabhupada wanted us to work together in that way. Prabhupada gave different understandings depending on who he was talking to. He dealt with each of us personally. When there was a devotee who was managing a temple and doing a lot of business but who wasn’t chanting his sixteen rounds, Prabhupada said, “What is the use of his management if he’s not chanting his rounds?” Prabhupada also told us that, “All the answers are in my books. For any question, that’s where you have to go.” When Prabhupada was here with us, he was very merciful. He accepted whatever little service we offered, hoping that it would ignite our spark of Krishna consciousness and turn that spark into a flame. He was very kind to us.


When I was Prabhupada’s servant, I didn’t know much about what was going on in the Society. I did my service, and I wasn’t interested in hearing so many things. But I saw that Srila Prabhupada was determined to develop the land in Juhu. I was massaging Srila Prabhupada in New Zealand. (The reason so many of my remembrances are of when I was massaging him is because if I wasn’t massaging Srila Prabhupada then I wasn’t with him. That’s why it sounds as if I was always massaging Srila Prabhupada.) Anyway, at this time we received a call from Bombay to inform us that Mr. Nair had died. Mr. Nair was a big demon that had put our beloved Srila Prabhupada through much anxiety. And now he was dead. I told Srila Prabhupada, and then I went behind him and started massaging him again. Srila Prabhupada put up his hands and said, “Thank you, Krishna.” In my foolishness I thought, “That’s not a nice reaction when somebody has died,” but Prabhupada was glad, so I didn’t touch it. I just kept massaging. Prabhupada said, “He was such a demon, he created so many difficulties for me.” When Srila Prabhupada thought about experiences it was like he relived them. It seemed as if everything was happening as he thought about it. Prabhupada said, “Even Prahlad Maharaj says that it’s good when a snake or a scorpion is killed. Mr. Nair was a great snake. The last time I saw him I noticed he had a limp. Mr. Nair was a robust, energetic man, but when I saw that I thought, ‘he’s going to die.’” When Prabhupada was in Bombay he would speak to Mr. Nair cordially, calmly, and casually, but he was happy to see him die. As the great kshatriyas would battle in the day and would speak together cordially in the evening, so that’s also how Prabhupada battled. So I was massaging Prabhupada as he talked and relished the moment. Then I got into it a little. I said, “Srila Prabhupada, you said Nair was a great demon. Does that mean that Krishna killed him?” He said, “No, he was not that great of a demon. It was difficult for me, because so many of my disciples didn’t understand. They thought, ‘Why is our spiritual master so attached to this piece of property?’ In truth, we could have bought property anywhere. We didn’t need that piece of property. But as soon as we bought the property and built the temple, as soon as Krishna was there, I could not allow Him to be removed. I didn’t need anything for myself.” At that moment everything came together for me. The battle over that property went on for years. Devotees would come from the West to battle for the Juhu property and before long were licking their wounds, devastated and wanting to leave India. Just being in India was difficult in the early ’70s and dealing with this problem in Bombay was impossible. I remember Bhagavan coming to Srila Prabhupada one day saying, “I’m here, Srila Prabhupada. I’m going to take care of this.” Bhagavan always dressed neatly in silk. I smiled to myself and thought, “I wonder how long he’s going to last here.” In India we had a pessimistic outlook on everything. But sure enough, after a few days Bhagavan’s nicely groomed hair was all over, and he became another war casualty.


In the evening Srila Prabhupada would walk around chanting and would pull down a counter bead as he completed each round. It was wonderful to see. Prabhupada said to me, “When I was a householder, I would chant four rounds in the morning and four rounds before each meal. In this way I would chant sixteen rounds daily. This is effective because if you don’t chant your four rounds then you don’t eat.” He practiced this as a householder and said that we could also do it.


One of my most wonderful times with Prabhupada was in Bombay when Prabhupada told stories about his childhood, about his mother, father, and sister and their interactions. Prabhupada always talked about his father fondly and credited his father for doing so much for him. Prabhupada said about his father, “My father would give me whatever I wanted. Sometimes, late at night, I would want puris, and my mother would say ‘No, not now; it’s too late.’ My father would say, ‘If he wants puris, give him puris.’ So my mother would have to make puris. My father was like that. Whatever I wanted, I could have. Perhaps my father knew.” And then Prabhupada stopped speaking. My understanding is that perhaps Srila Prabhupada’s father knew what an exalted personality Srila Prabhupada was and what he was going to do in later years. To me it was clear that that’s what Prabhupada meant, and it was nice to hear Prabhupada say it. At the same time, a pure devotee understands everything is coming from Krishna. Prabhupada genuinely understood, “I’m not doing anything at all.” As we advance in Krishna consciousness we realize that Krishna has arranged everything that happens.


Prabhupada asked, “So, is the devotee simple or crooked?” One of his disciples said, “Oh, he is simple, Srila Prabhupada.” Prabhupada said, “Are you sure the devotee is simple?” The disciple said, “Yes, Srila Prabhupada, the devotee is simple.” Prabhupada said, “No, the devotee is crooked. Just like me. I have come here and tricked all of you into becoming Krishna’s devotees.” We come to Krishna consciousness to enjoy, but we can do that only if we give everything to Krishna for His enjoyment. Srila Prabhupada’s trick is that he offers us Krishna, but we can have Him only when we surrender everything.


If I’ve realized anything, I’ve realized that without Srila Prabhupada, there is no reason for existence, there is no life. Once in New Dwaraka, Srila Prabhupada was on the vyasasana giving class, when he looked at his watch and said, “Now it is 7:32 a.m. When that moment has gone you can’t regain it. It’s gone for eternity.” I thought, “Why does that matter? We’re all eternal.” That’s how foolish I was. I couldn’t understand. Prabhupada would say, “If you waste a moment in material consciousness, you can never bring it back again to be Krishna conscious in that moment.” Now that Prabhupada’s gone, I realize that although I was sitting at his feet, I was wasting those moments. I want to get them back.

To view the entire unedited video go to Memories 23 - Malati dasi, Srutakirti, Kirtanananda, Trivikrama Swami

The full Prabhupada Memories Series can be viewed here and also at www.prabhupadamemories.com


Following Srila Prabhupada

Interview DVD 04

Sruta-kirti: This was a really glorious return for him to Vrindavan. He really enjoyed his disciples being there, and Prabhupada was really excited about going back there. I became his servant a month before, and he had it planned out and he would give little ideas of what his plan was. And that’s what he said, he would be speaking in English because it was for his disciples, he said, not that he was going to speak in Hindi to the local inhabitants of Braj but he wanted to speak to his disciples and he was training them up in Krishna consciousness.


Prabhupada really liked Mayapur. He seemed really relaxed in Mayapur when we would come. I remember the one time we went up to his quarters when he first got there and, of course, I’d follow him in, setting everything up, and he was just looking out his window. The windows, of course, were on each side of his room. So he walked in his front door and he just looked out his window, and then it was just stretches of fields everywhere. It was wide open and very tranquil, very peaceful, and he would just chant and look out there. One time he turned and he just looked at me and he smiled and he said, “So Srutakirti Maharaj, you like it here in Mayapur?” I said, “Yes, Prabhupada, very much.” The way his quarters were set up there, they had the padding across the entire room. So sometimes you could go in there in the middle of the day and Prabhupada would be lying on the floor and he’d have his feet over the big bolster pillows that were against the walls. He would move one out a little bit so he’d have his legs hanging over the bolster pillow, and he’d just be relaxing. His morning walk was always right outside his room. As soon as he’d go down the steps, he was already on his walk. He also always knew everything – who was around, who wasn’t around, who was missing the walk – because sometimes if he was going out, he’d get down to the bottom of the stairs and he would ask where is such and such, where is this devotee, where is that devotee. One time he asked…I don’t know who it was… he said, “Where is this devotee?” Someone said, “Oh, he’s sick, Prabhupada.” Prabhupada kind of chuckled and I said, “Yes, Prabhupada, I think he has morning sickness,” and then Prabhupada laughed. He said, “Yes, that is the difficulty.” He expected everyone to be up in the morning. He never ever minimized that. He always did the opposite, even with the people that traveled with him because we were the ones affected too by that so-called jet lag as we traveled around, but he wasn’t interested in hearing about it.


In Calcutta there were so many parks Prabhupada would walk in. Back in the day when Prabhupada was growing up, he said Calcutta was their model city of what they wanted to create in India. They have many beautiful parks. Every few blocks there was another park. Of course, when we were there in the ‘70s, they looked a bit different than they did. But he said it was a beautiful city. That was their model, he said, of what they wanted to accomplish in India everywhere, and they did it in Calcutta.


Of course, this Rathayatra became very famous because Prabhupada never sat in his vyasasana which was there and walked and danced the entire way. What was the amazing thing was just days before and weeks before he had been very ill, he was in Mayapur and Calcutta, and he asked the leaders what he should do because he was being invited to the Rathayatra in London. He was also being invited, I believe, to Australia to rest and recuperate from his illness. I remember he told them, which he would do sometimes, he said, “Talk amongst yourselves and tell me what you think.” I remember massaging him that day when he said that and he said to me, “So, what do you think? Should I go to London for the Rathayatra, or should I go to Australia and rest?” I had been with Prabhupada about a year, so I already had an idea that he was going to go to the Rathayatra. That’s what Prabhupada did, he preached. There was no possibility of him passing up such a big opportunity for preaching, and I said that. I said, “Well, if you go to London, there will be thousands of people there at the Rathayatra Festival that you can preach to. And, of course, if you go to Australia, that won’t be there.” He just said, “Yes, that’s right.” So then later on in the afternoon, he called everyone in and he told them. He said, “We’re going to London to Rathayatra.”


This was a victory for Prabhupada, this Rathayatra going right down the main byways there in London to Trafalgar Square. Prabhupada saw to it that it was a very grand event, and he just danced and walked the entire way even though he was going to go recuperate somewhere from his illness because he was supposedly weak.


The bobbies, I guess they could see that I was his assistant, his servant, and they said to me, “You have to tell your leader to sit down because he is making too much of a commotion in the streets. We need to get order in the streets.” They didn’t like…they considered it very disorderly, all this dancing around. I ignored them once because I thought, “I can’t say anything to Prabhupada.” So then they kept coming up to me. This one officer kept saying, “You have to tell him, you have to tell him.” So finally I went up to Prabhupada, and he was just like this as he was dancing around and walking. I went up to him from behind, and I tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and looked at me and I said, “Prabhupada, they’re saying you have to sit down in your seat,” and he paid no attention at all and he just spun back around and continued to dance. So I just shrugged my shoulders. I went back up to the bobby and I said, “If you want him to stop, you tell him because he won’t listen to me.” So then he didn’t go up, and then they just let it go on.


This was another one of these events, very special events, like the opening of the temple in Vrindavan. This was conquering London. He conquered the British, Prabhupada. We knew what he was when he was young when he first met his spiritual master, right? He was into the Gandhi movement, he wasn’t into British rule. So now he came and took over Britain. That’s what he did. It was right back in their face. These are special triumphs, I think, that Prabhupada really, really enjoyed.


Interview DVD 05

Sruta-kirti: I guess it was several months later, there was an article in BTG on this installation and they brought the magazine to Prabhupada – he was in Vrindavan at the time – which they would always do. Whenever there was a publication, wherever Prabhupada was, of course, they would rush and bring it and show him the last Bhagavatam that was produced or the BTG. So he was at his sitting desk right here at Krishna-Balarama and they brought in the BTG, and Prabhupada started paging through it and it had the pictures of the Deities on the altar. Prabhupada looked at the one picture, and in the picture it was Krishna and Prabhupada. You could see the shot that was taken was Prabhupada and Krishna, and Prabhupada smiled. “Just see,” he said, “I am looking at Krishna and Krishna is looking at me.”


Prabhupada stayed here for over a month, I think, or at least a few weeks he was here, and it was a really beautiful time of year, which is not real common that you can get several days in a row with sunshine. But we seemed to, and Prabhupada even commented about it. He said, “England is very nice, but when the sun shines it’s one of the nicest places in the world.” He would come here every afternoon and sit down right on the lawn. At this time, they had just published a book, Lord Caitanya in Five Features. So that was the first volume to come out of Caitanya-caritmarta, the Adi-lila. So we had a copy of that, and when Prabhupada would sit down here in his place, sometimes he would have me read from there. Prabhupada always would sit and like to listen from his books, either read them himself or hear others read them, and he enjoyed hearing the philosophy that he was translating for us. And he always enjoyed it in the same mood that we did, just relishing Krishna katha. Anyway, the one day I remember I was reading from this book and, of course, it had the transliteration, had the Bengali in there, so I was just reading. Prabhupada had an audience and there were some Indians in there, and he was very happy. He said, “Just hear him. See how nicely he reads this Bengali. Even he has no experience, he can read it so nicely.” So, again, he always appreciated he had made devotees, and he liked to see them that they were capable in doing these things. So he liked to show the Indian community what he had done – he had turned these Westerners into devotees, into Vaishnavas. Prabhupada liked the simple things – sit outside. So in the afternoons if the weather was nice, he would sit out there. From his quarters, of course, this whole area, this is what you would see from his sitting room; and sometimes he would, again, as he would walk around in his room chanting and he would look out the window onto the lawn and the trees.


Another time he was looking out there and just looking across the lawn and the trees and he said, “So, do you know what is the most beautiful animal?” Whenever Prabhupada would ask you a question like that, of course, you either wanted to know the right answer and say it or you didn’t want to say anything at all because you didn’t want to say the wrong answer. So, of course, I was thinking. I was thinking of different animals and I thought you had to say a cow. Krishna loves the cows, He’s Govinda. So finally after a little bit I said a cow and Prabhupada just laughed and he said, “No, no, the horse. The horse is the most beautiful,” he said, “its body and its muscle structure.” I said, “Oh, yes, Prabhupada.”


He seemed very happy to just be in Mayapur, which at the time it was almost in the middle of nowhere. It wasn’t like Vrindavan – we’d go up and down the road, there was lots of activity. But here it was just very peaceful, and Prabhupada really enjoyed it. Sometimes in the afternoon or the morning he would go out with his beads, walk around on the veranda and would look out and just like here, you just see expanses of beautiful fields – nice, peaceful, flat – and he would walk around and chant. He would gaze across from his veranda. When he went to other areas, like in L.A., there was different kinds of management. When he went to Vrindavan for that one month and had all those activities, Nectar of Devotion classes, he had a program, there was a mission. But when he went here, it didn’t seem like that. Prabhupada was very casual, very relaxed, and certainly he manifested at different times his deep emotion for Lord Caitanya and Lord Nityananda. If you follow that one tour when he went from Los Angeles and he went to Mexico City, then he went to Caracas, and then Miami and Atlanta, they all had Gaura-Nitai Deities on the altar. And each lecture, his arrival lecture, he started talking about the mercy of Lord Caitanya and Nityananda, the two Lords, how merciful They were. It climaxed in Atlanta where he barely got out two sentences and he just went into ecstasy. So he definitely had this incredible mood and love for Lord Caitanya and Lord Nityananda and everything that They had done, that he had seen Them accomplish through his efforts.


Interview DVD 07

Sruta-kirti: I rejoined Prabhupada in New Vrindavan in 1974. I was away for six months, and that’s when I had gotten married. So now I was a grihastha. This one day the secretary starts reading this letter, and it’s from one of Prabhupada’s disciples and he’s the temple president and he’s married. In the letter, he asked Prabhupada if it’s OK if he gets a divorce and remarries. In the same paragraph he asked this question. So I’m just rubbing Prabhupada’s back and listening, and Prabhupada gave his permission. He said, “Yes, that’s OK.” So as soon as he said it, I couldn’t understand how Prabhupada had given that answer. I had been with him for a long time, listened to so many classes and Prabhupada speaking about Vedic society and marriage and no divorce; and when he said that, I became confused. Of course, I didn’t say anything, it wasn’t my position to speak. I knew Prabhupada…what he said was correct, but I didn’t understand it. It was probably the only time where I felt like that, that I just didn’t understand Prabhupada’s answer. Every evening I would give Prabhupada massage as well. So that evening I was actually so troubled that I thought, “I’m going to say something. I have to ask Prabhupada why he had said that.” I was at the foot of his bed, and I was rubbing his legs and rubbing his feet; and Prabhupada is lying down in bed just so peaceful, which was a little troublesome because you don’t want to say anything. But it was bothering me that much that I did. So finally, “Prabhupada, you remember during massage today that devotee sent a letter and he asked you if it was OK to get a divorce,” and I couldn’t even say “and get remarried.” As soon as I said it, “get a divorce,” Prabhupada said, “Yes, I told him it was all right.” I said, “Yes, Prabhupada, that’s why I’m asking because you always say that no divorce, there is no question of divorce. Once one is married, they stay together. But you told him it was OK.” Prabhupada said, “Yes, in your country these things are going on, very common.” Again, I had thought a lot about what I wanted to say to him. So as soon as he said that, I said, “Yes, but also in our country meat-eating is common and intoxication is common, but these things are forbidden for us.” Then he changed his tone and he became more serious. “Yes,” he said. “If I tell him no, still he is going to get a divorce and get remarried. So if I tell him yes, then the offense is not so great.” As soon as he said it, I could hear it in his voice and, of course, immediately I could understand Prabhupada’s compassion for everyone, for all of us. And it’s that quality that I got to see all the time with Prabhupada being with him outside of the temple room, where he would always speak from the Vedas and the sastra and always spoke the Absolute Truth. But as he dealt with us, Prabhupada was very kind and very compassionate. So I felt very happy. Of course, now as years go by you can see Prabhupada’s compassion more and more.


We were on an airplane from Mexico City to Caracas and Prabhupada started taking his puffed rice, puffed rice and peanuts. He ate for about 10 minutes or so, and then he just looked and said, “OK.” So I moved the puffed rice over and I gave half to Paramahamsa, the other half I had in front of me. After a few minutes, there was this stewardess, she was walking down the aisle and she stops right in front of us and she reached over, put her hand in my plate and grabbed a handful of puffed rice and threw it in her mouth. She says, “Oh, this is wonderful. What is it?” I said, “Puffed rice.” She said, “Why are you eating this?” I said, “We have our own diet and we’re vegetarian.” She said, “Oh, is there anything else I can get you?” I looked at Prabhupada and he looked at me, he said, “Hot milk.” She said, “Fine.” So after about 10 minutes she comes back with three plates. She left and I turned to Prabhupada, I said, “Prabhupada, that’s amazing, isn’t it?” Prabhupada said, “No, women, they have a natural propensity to serve.” Of course, I was thinking it was amazing that she took Prabhupada’s mahaprasadam right off of my plate. Somehow or other, she got what all of us were mad after was Prabhupada’s remnants. So when I travel, it’s always one of my favorite stories. One day I was giving class and I told this story, and after class a devotee boy came up to me and he said, “That’s an amazing story. Can I tell you a sankirtan story?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “We would go out to the villages far from all the cities in Brazil in different places. You have to go by four-wheel drive. One day we were in the rain forest really far away from everywhere, and we found this village and we did our Harinam. Then we began going door to door to distribute books. Then I went to this one house and I knocked on the door and a woman answered and tried to distribute books. As soon as she saw me, I was in dhoti and kurta, and she invited me in. I went in, and I started seeing that there were pictures of Krishna on the wall and she had an altar, she had Deities,” and he was so surprised. Then he said, “You’re a devotee,” and she said, “Yes, yes. It’s so wonderful to see a devotee here.” And he said, “How did you become a devotee?” She said, “Well, the first time I met devotees was I met Prabhupada on an airplane. I was a stewardess.” So this was the woman. It was 10 years later from that time after she took the mahaprasadam. Then she met devotees again and got a book, and that was it. That was the beginning of her spiritual life. Just seeing what Prabhupada has done, it’s mind-boggling to understand how Prabhupada has made devotees, and it just goes on and on.


Once in Calcutta we were driving back from somewhere and we went past this one park, and Prabhupada pointed to it and he said, “See that park? When I was a boy, I used to play football there.” Then he laughed and he said, “I was the goalie because they didn’t have to run around, and I didn’t like to run around so much so I became the goalie.” Calcutta was such an interesting place to be in because it was Prabhupada’s home through his childhood. He had such an amazing memory going way back.


I remember the first time going to Mayapur with Prabhupada. It was just one carload of devotees. It was just Prabhupada, myself, his secretary and…or maybe two cars, then a few other devotees. We prepared prasadam and stopped at the mango grove, and it grew into a really big ritual here with dozens of devotees. But it started out very simply. It was a very beautiful place and it was nice, it was the halfway point on the way to Mayapur. The first time I went to Mayapur with Prabhupada, there was just a thatched roof goshala where Prabhupada stayed. So things changed quite rapidly, and this also changed from just a few devotees into a caravan of vehicles headed to Mayapur. But, again, the principle of it was always the same; and Prabhupada taking prasadam, still that same consciousness was there. Prabhupada sat quietly and honored prasadam.


There was a big conversation that one morning walk about World War III. So the devotees, everyone got real close and started probing, and Prabhupada said the war would start between India and Pakistan. Then Prabhupada said after the war the preaching would be very good. The devotees were saying, “What should we do? Should we start the farm?” Prabhupada was saying yes and he said, “But we don’t care.” He looked up into the sky and he said, “We’ll just look up and when we see the bomb, ‘Here comes Krishna.’” The same thing in Mayapur when the snake was there. He said, “We don’t care. If Krishna wants to save you, no one can kill you. If Krishna wants to kill you, no one can save you.” So he didn’t express any concern on our part but it was in reference to preaching, how the war would affect preaching and how it would be better after the war, not that we were afraid of the war or death. But one walk, when we used to walk in these little single files along the little paths between the paddies, we said something to the effect like “Prabhupada, how do we understand that the spiritual master knows everything?” Prabhupada said, “No one can know everything. Only Krishna knows everything, but the spiritual master knows whatever Krishna wants him to know.” Then he also said, “The spiritual master knows everything that his spiritual master has given him. So in that sense he knows everything, but only Krishna knows everything.”


So then Prabhupada went up to his room, and then this big argument started downstairs and outside Prabhupada’s quarters with the different devotees. They were all speculating on what the proper etiquette was when your spiritual master goes into ecstasy on the vyasasana. Some devotees were saying we should have just sat there and waited for him to open his eyes again, and others said, “No, we should chant Hare Krishna. Chanting Hare Krishna is always proper.” So anyway, it went on and disagreement was there. So then we just had Prabhupada. Do we go to Prabhupada and ask him? You could always get the final answer. We could fight and fight, and no one would ever agree. Brahmananda was his secretary at the time, so we went into Prabhupada’s room and he said, “Prabhupada, do you know downstairs this morning when you went into ecstasy on the vyasasana?” Prabhupada was just looking and he said, “We were wondering what’s the proper thing to do when you do that.” And Prabhupada got all shy and humble and said, “I don’t do that very often.” He said, “No, no, Prabhupada, it’s all right. But when you do it, what should we do? Should we just sit there and wait for you, or should we start kirtan, should we start chanting?” Prabhupada said, “You can chant Hare Krishna,” and that was it. We were so silly. It would have been nice just to sit there even if it was an hour. It would have been wonderful because when Prabhupada went into ecstasy, you couldn’t help but on some level feel ecstatic symptoms yourself. Just knowing Prabhupada was in ecstasy like that, had gone inward like that, was enough to make you feel some bliss. So sitting and watching was nice.


Interview DVD 08

Sruta-kirti: As the opening was approaching, Prabhupada was on top of every detail that was going on; and he put what he considered all his best men in charge of all the different areas. They were all his GBCs and they were all the different administrators at that temple in charge of prasadam distribution, greeting guests, cleaning the temple. Whatever it was, they were just his assistants. And, of course, this was Vrindavan, so Prabhupada wanted everything done first class. I remember him ringing the bell so many times during the day to get this GBC, get this one, get that one, going back, and he would be checking up to make sure that they were doing everything properly. And even receiving all of his disciples, there was nothing that escaped Prabhupada’s vision, his perception. I remember him saying that all the devotees, they have to have nice facility to stay. They should have this to eat. They have to have cow’s milk, not buffalo milk. Every detail Prabhupada covered. It wasn’t just the installation ceremony. That also, he was taking care of that, but it was all the different details. He was always giving us the guidance. But it was clear that Vrindavan was his temple. He wanted to make that statement. It was very important that everything was done properly in Vrindavan.


Prabhupada was responsible for everything, and he pushed everyone to do as much as they could do and sometimes beyond our own limits. I remember Surabhi, who was in charge of it all, had to undergo a lot of chastisement. I would be getting Surabhi so many times towards the end of it, the last week, and I don’t know how much sleep he was getting. I know it wasn’t very much. Prabhupada would say, “Call Surabhi,” and he would tell him that this was wrong and that was wrong, and it was very intense.


There was one morning walk after the installation, and the temple was beautiful and it looked so beautiful. Tamal Krishna Maharaj was there and he said, “Prabhupada, Surabhi has really done a wonderful job.” Prabhupada chuckled and he said, “Yes, everyone is saying Surabhi has done so nice, but all I do is chastise him. But that’s my duty, I’m his spiritual master.” And when he said that, all the ideas I had about…oh, I used to think, “Poor Surabhi,” and you just could understand. Prabhupada was always pushing us; and if we were able to handle that and deal with it, you could make so much advancement in Krishna consciousness because with this pushing always came a lot of blessings. Whatever we could do was because of Prabhupada’s blessings.


After he spoke, Prabhupada said, “Let’s go.” Right away he sat down and he said, “So, did you understand what I was saying?” We said, “A little bit, Prabhupada.” He said, “Yes. I told them everyone is speaking so many things but not once did anyone mention Krishna, Who is the speaker of Bhagavad-gita, as being the Supreme Personality of Godhead.” He said, “So all of your activities here will be useless. You won’t accomplish anything.” So he was still going on in the car. Prabhupada was a defender of Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead. So he just told them all off, and then he got in the car and he left. I remember on the way back, we headed back to Delhi and there was a big typhoon and it was pouring rain and trees were blowing down in front of us and behind us. It was like all hell broke loose after Prabhupada left this assembly.


This is one of the things I think the devotees really appreciate, and I talk about it a lot. It’s seeing or hearing how Prabhupada lived, that we all need to see and know how Prabhupada practiced Krishna consciousness. And taking prasadam to me was such a wonderful activity, the way he did it. You can see he always took prasadam alone, 99% of the time. And if there was someone who was in the room when I would bring him prasadam, very graciously he would take off a piece of fruit or two or three for whoever was there or a little sweet and give them a little something and say, “OK, Hare Krishna,” and send them on their way. Then he would sit there and he would just honor prasadam. He did it very calmly and peacefully and never in a rushed way, never talking about different things, but he relished prasadam. It was such a nice thing to see. There’s another thing we do, especially as Westerners, we can turn taking prasadam into meeting times and socializing times with other devotees, just carelessly talking about whatever and really not get into the significance of honoring prasadam, mercy from Krishna. You could see with Prabhupada, he took it in that way. You could feel he was honoring Krishna in the form of His prasadam. So wherever he was, prasadam he was ready to have right around noontime. And as he traveled and the time changes, he would immediately adapt. There were no adjustment periods for Prabhupada. He never talked about jet lag, having to recover, take a day off. He just went right in and immediately accepted his responsibilities that he had given himself – giving class, greeting the Deities, morning walk, meeting with the devotees, the management, giving advice.


Interview DVD 09

Sruta-kirti: When we arrived in Fiji, I remember it was practically one o’clock in the morning after our flight from Australia and it was Ekadasi. Of course, there was no temple then. We were staying at one Indian family’s house, and they had prepared prasadam for all of us; and, of course, it wasn’t Ekadasi prasadam. But Prabhupada said, “It’s OK,” and that was it. So we took prasadam. Then we went to bed around two-thirty or three o’clock. Then as Prabhupada did everywhere, when the sun was ready to come up Prabhupada was ready for his morning walk, and that was always the case. It didn’t matter how much Prabhupada was traveling, if he stayed in a place for two days or two weeks. As soon as Prabhupada got to the next place, he set his watch and he set his body and he just continued on. There was never any question jet lag, the word didn’t exist with Prabhupada. It wasn’t something anyone talked about. Prabhupada never exhibited it. We went out on a morning walk, and he would walk as quickly as he did everywhere for about an hour to an hour-and-a-half. Then we had a program. Prabhupada always had a morning program and he spoke, and then we had prasadam. Then Paramahamsa and I, we were just waiting for the opportunity to sleep again because we had only had three hours of sleep and for us that was really difficult, and we were hoping after breakfast Prabhupada would take a nap. So I brought Prabhupada his breakfast, and then when he was finished I came and took everything out and Prabhupada laid down. So I went back, I said, “Prabhupada’s resting.” So Paramahamsa and I, we laid down. Of course, we fell asleep, we were out, and Prabhupada maybe took 15 minutes or something and he was up. So finally I heard a bell ring. So I went into Prabhupada’s room, and it happened a few times where I would literally try to wake up as I was offering obeisances and exercise my eyes so Prabhupada couldn’t tell that I was sleeping. I sat up, and as soon as I sat up he said, “Why are you sleeping? You’re like dead men. Everyone is awake. The karmis are all at work but not the devotees. No, they’re sleeping.” He said, “They’re sleeping very soundly. Why are you sleeping?” And, of course, when Prabhupada asked why were you doing something wrong, I never had a response because whatever you said, he would just take that apart. So I just said, “Prabhupada, I’m sorry.” “What about Paramahamsa? Why is he sleeping?” He said, “Call him in here.” He goes in and immediately Prabhupada says, “You are a sannyasi. Your business is to minimize bodily demands, minimize sleeping, minimize eating. Why are you sleeping?” Paramahamsa said, “Prabhupada, I have jet lag,” and I thought, “Oh, no!” And Prabhupada said, “Jet lag?” He said, “Well, we just flew from here and done this,” and Prabhupada said, “So I am also flying, I am doing the same thing. I am awake.” Then he said, “All right, go on. Go sleep if you want.” So we go back to the room and, of course, we wouldn’t sleep. Sometimes five minutes would go by or sometimes a half hour and he’d ring the bell again. And you’d go in and then he’d tell you to start reading and he’d tell you some stories or something, and you would know that he wasn’t angry with you. He was always trying to save us from our own bad habits and trying to show us that becoming Krishna conscious is serious business and one has to follow the process, otherwise gradually one can fall away. But that was one of the things he would do after chastising – he would always have a way of being extra special nice a little later on, and then we knew that he loved us so much.


It happened on three different occasions. I went in and Prabhupada was reading Krsna Book and he said, “If you just read this one book, you can be Krishna conscious.” He said, “You don’t have to read hundreds of books. Just this one book.” He had his glasses on, and I was sitting in front of him. Then he just looked at me and he said, “You don’t even have to read the whole book, just one chapter. If you just read one chapter of this book, you can be Krishna conscious.” And I’m nodding my head, “Yes, Prabhupada.” But he just kept staring. And then he said, “You don’t even have to read the whole chapter, just one page,” and he just ran his finger down the page. Then he’s looking and he said, “You don’t even have to read the whole page, just one line,” and he ran his finger across the line of the Krsna Book. And I said, “Yes, Prabhupada.” And he’s still looking and he said, “You don’t even have to read a whole line, just one word,” and he pointed to a word in the book. He said, “Just one word of this book if you read you can become Krishna conscious because Krishna is in every word.” And then he put his head back down into the book, and I offered obeisances and I left. But he said that about three different books to me over a year. “If you just read this one book.” Once it was Nectar of Devotion, once it was Bhagavad-gita, once it was Krsna Book. But he said, “Any one of these, if you just read this one book, you can be Krishna conscious.” He can understand Krishna is in every word, and this is what Prabhupada gave us. Nobody else has given us this, this direct connection to Krishna through His pure devotee.


I felt very fortunate because I got to see Prabhupada when he wasn’t with his disciples, when he wasn’t busy training them in management in so many different ways or chastising them for the mistakes they had made and being involved in seeing that the books were being produced and all of these different services he was doing for his spiritual master. Then at various times in the day when the doors closed, Prabhupada was just there by himself; and they were the times that I liked the most because he was a devotee of Krishna, and Prabhupada loved Krishna. You would find him in his room reading, and sometimes from the servant quarters all of a sudden you would hear the harmonium. It wasn’t Krsna Kanti coming in and recording bhajans, Prabhupada was just doing bhajan. Whenever I heard that, I would run into the room and I would offer obeisances; and as soon as I would sit up, Prabhupada would give me the nod, “Get the kartals,” and I would play kartals and Prabhupada would play the harmonium and he would just chant. It’s one reason I stayed with Prabhupada as long as I did, because I found being with Prabhupada was very peaceful for most of the time. And it was amazing because, as we know, Prabhupada was doing everything, he was running everything, the entire society, the BBT, taking care of so much mail every day, doing the classes, the morning walk, instructing devotees. But somehow or other, it seemed like there were hours where Prabhupada was just alone. And he was a devotee of Krishna, and he was very sweet. He was doing everything he was asking us to do, just develop our love of Krishna by chanting and hearing and so many times reading his books. He would walk around and chant in his room; and he would just chant on his beads, walk around, and sometimes he would jiggle his bead bag, you could hear the beads in his bead bag. But there was just this peacefulness that was amazing because of everything that he was doing. But as soon as the door closed, that was all gone. It was just Krishna there with him, and Prabhupada was happy. Even someone like me could pick up on some of that and just feel so peaceful to be with Prabhupada. It’s like you didn’t want to be anywhere else at those times.